Girls, Please Don't Settle

This weekend is Valentine's Day and with it, romance movies are hitting the box office. This year in particular, one movie has been getting lots of attention- some are fawning over its release and others are speaking out against it. I don't really want to discuss the content of the movie or the books it is based upon, but as I have read reviews of the books and comments made by ladies on both sides of the aisle, I have realized that a great deal of women have come to idolize the lead male, Christian Grey, and view him as the epitome of a male. The more I have found out about this character, the more I felt like yelling from the rooftops, "Girls, please don't settle for this kind of man or this kind of love. There is so much better out there and each and every one of you deserve the real thing."

From the comments I've read, women admire the Christian Grey character because he is confident, knows what he wants, communicates and goes after the same, is "protective/concerned" and is "capable of change" through the unfailing love of the woman. He is also said to be quite handsome and wealthy, which certainly doesn't hurt his case. (Items in quotes are areas of great dispute, depending on how you interpret his actions and words.) Yet, from the excerpts which I have read, Christian Grey's qualities are completely self-serving.

Now for a real world example, and lucky for me, it's my husband. I regularly tell him, and  often tell others, that he is a "good man." Often I feel the phrase seems too simple and understated to truly express all that I mean, yet that is exactly what he is- a good man. I am blessed to have a husband who is self-assured and confident, aware of what he needs and wants, a great communicator, a provider and a protector, compassionate and concerned, and filled with great love. While initially the lists between the two seem rather similar, there is one enormous difference between my husband and Christian Grey. My husband does none of these things out of selfishness, and this one difference affects every other attribute I mentioned.

His love is matched by his respect.
His awareness of his needs and wants is matched by his desire to know and meet my own.
He communicates so that we can better understand each other.
He provides and protects me because he cherishes me and finds great value and worth in me.
His concern and love are not self-serving but are sacrificial.

This is the picture of a good man. This is a picture of a real love story.

As I write the next lines, I think specifically of our daughters, who will grow up in a world where Christian Grey has always been, but also for any young lady or woman who desires true love.

Girls, let me tell you now- please don't settle for this sad, empty picture of love that media is glorifying. You are worth far more and are more precious than any and all the jewels in the world. You were created in the image of the Almighty God. He knew you before any of us even knew you would be. And after giving you the freedom to choose, He pursues with with an endless love. He offers forgiveness and grace when you fail and provides comfort and peace when the days seems dark. Because of Him, you have a deep and abiding value and worth that no one in this world can take away. And because of that, whether you find a man to spend the rest of your earthly life with or not, you already have the opportunity to be a part of the greatest love story ever. Don't settle for the paltry affections of men such as Christian Grey. Don't believe the lies of Satan which tell you it is love. And should someday you meet a man and wish to marry him, I pray here and now that he will be a good man- not as the world would define a good man but as God has ordained a good man to be.



Lord,

I pray for our girls as they grow. We know the world will tell them many things about love, their value and worth and the type of man they should desire. We pray Lord that they would look to You for the truth and that in You and Your love, the answers would become evident.

And I thank you Lord for the good men in my life- my grandfathers, Dad and husband. Men who exemplify love, respect, honor, commitment and devotion and have lived out stories of true love in their own lives.