Maybe you loved the song or maybe you cringe as you read the title because of the song, but right now, it feels like a fitting description for me.
For the last week, our two sweet little girls have been on fire. Attitudes, bickering, selfishness, demanding, picking, and arguing are just the beginnings of what has been happening in our home. And while much of it has been directed at each other, one in particular has also directed it at Drew and I. Leading up to this morning, I realized just how much it was wearing on me and I prayed that the Lord would give me the control of emotions and wisdom to best handle each and every situation as it arose. Of course, this morning, the girls were in particularly good form. A morning which started with a great sense of peace and control slowly erroded under me as the girls wore down on my every nerve.
As I prepared their lunches (only a few hours after getting up), I was spent. I just wanted a break, a little time away from the two of them and all that was going on with them. Peace, quiet and time for me... a place to get away from the voices that can carry through the house. How much was I really asking for? So while I stood there with their lunch plates, I found myself listing off the things I wanted away from- the selfishness, the demands, the whining and the constant need to be on my toes to address each. And as I listed off these issues, a thought came to the forefront that silenced all my complaining- because really, that's what I was doing, wasn't it?
How many times have I spent my days whining, bickering, arguing and demanding things from God, the almighty, all-powerful Creator of this whole universe? And when I do (take this morning perhaps), has He ever called it quits or decided to just take a break from me?
No, the Lord is faithful, incredibly patient and loving with me.
As the title intimates, I know I've been in this position before. I have felt the way I felt this morning far more than I would ever wish to admit. I have also had the Lord remind me that He has stuck through it with me; He has been patient and loving even when I am not. Even when I question or forge ahead, fight His leading or ignore His nudges, He still works on me and can work through me. And on those days when I just don't feel able, He shows me that through Him, so much can be accomplished.
Yet still, I find myself back here.
It's the sad story of me but the amazing and incredible story of God and His love.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you. Thank you for not leaving me to wallow. Thank you for sticking with me as I complain and whine or argue over Your guidance. For if you were affected by me the way I am often affected by our girls, You would have thrown in the towel long before. Instead You have patiently reminded me time and again that there is a better way and that the work laid before me is not only God-given but can be God-led. May it be so, Lord. May it be so.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Girls, Please Don't Settle
This weekend is Valentine's Day and with it, romance movies are hitting the box office. This year in particular, one movie has been getting lots of attention- some are fawning over its release and others are speaking out against it. I don't really want to discuss the content of the movie or the books it is based upon, but as I have read reviews of the books and comments made by ladies on both sides of the aisle, I have realized that a great deal of women have come to idolize the lead male, Christian Grey, and view him as the epitome of a male. The more I have found out about this character, the more I felt like yelling from the rooftops, "Girls, please don't settle for this kind of man or this kind of love. There is so much better out there and each and every one of you deserve the real thing."
From the comments I've read, women admire the Christian Grey character because he is confident, knows what he wants, communicates and goes after the same, is "protective/concerned" and is "capable of change" through the unfailing love of the woman. He is also said to be quite handsome and wealthy, which certainly doesn't hurt his case. (Items in quotes are areas of great dispute, depending on how you interpret his actions and words.) Yet, from the excerpts which I have read, Christian Grey's qualities are completely self-serving.
Now for a real world example, and lucky for me, it's my husband. I regularly tell him, and often tell others, that he is a "good man." Often I feel the phrase seems too simple and understated to truly express all that I mean, yet that is exactly what he is- a good man. I am blessed to have a husband who is self-assured and confident, aware of what he needs and wants, a great communicator, a provider and a protector, compassionate and concerned, and filled with great love. While initially the lists between the two seem rather similar, there is one enormous difference between my husband and Christian Grey. My husband does none of these things out of selfishness, and this one difference affects every other attribute I mentioned.
His love is matched by his respect.
His awareness of his needs and wants is matched by his desire to know and meet my own.
He communicates so that we can better understand each other.
He provides and protects me because he cherishes me and finds great value and worth in me.
His concern and love are not self-serving but are sacrificial.
This is the picture of a good man. This is a picture of a real love story.
As I write the next lines, I think specifically of our daughters, who will grow up in a world where Christian Grey has always been, but also for any young lady or woman who desires true love.
Girls, let me tell you now- please don't settle for this sad, empty picture of love that media is glorifying. You are worth far more and are more precious than any and all the jewels in the world. You were created in the image of the Almighty God. He knew you before any of us even knew you would be. And after giving you the freedom to choose, He pursues with with an endless love. He offers forgiveness and grace when you fail and provides comfort and peace when the days seems dark. Because of Him, you have a deep and abiding value and worth that no one in this world can take away. And because of that, whether you find a man to spend the rest of your earthly life with or not, you already have the opportunity to be a part of the greatest love story ever. Don't settle for the paltry affections of men such as Christian Grey. Don't believe the lies of Satan which tell you it is love. And should someday you meet a man and wish to marry him, I pray here and now that he will be a good man- not as the world would define a good man but as God has ordained a good man to be.
Lord,
I pray for our girls as they grow. We know the world will tell them many things about love, their value and worth and the type of man they should desire. We pray Lord that they would look to You for the truth and that in You and Your love, the answers would become evident.
And I thank you Lord for the good men in my life- my grandfathers, Dad and husband. Men who exemplify love, respect, honor, commitment and devotion and have lived out stories of true love in their own lives.
From the comments I've read, women admire the Christian Grey character because he is confident, knows what he wants, communicates and goes after the same, is "protective/concerned" and is "capable of change" through the unfailing love of the woman. He is also said to be quite handsome and wealthy, which certainly doesn't hurt his case. (Items in quotes are areas of great dispute, depending on how you interpret his actions and words.) Yet, from the excerpts which I have read, Christian Grey's qualities are completely self-serving.
Now for a real world example, and lucky for me, it's my husband. I regularly tell him, and often tell others, that he is a "good man." Often I feel the phrase seems too simple and understated to truly express all that I mean, yet that is exactly what he is- a good man. I am blessed to have a husband who is self-assured and confident, aware of what he needs and wants, a great communicator, a provider and a protector, compassionate and concerned, and filled with great love. While initially the lists between the two seem rather similar, there is one enormous difference between my husband and Christian Grey. My husband does none of these things out of selfishness, and this one difference affects every other attribute I mentioned.
His love is matched by his respect.
His awareness of his needs and wants is matched by his desire to know and meet my own.
He communicates so that we can better understand each other.
He provides and protects me because he cherishes me and finds great value and worth in me.
His concern and love are not self-serving but are sacrificial.
This is the picture of a good man. This is a picture of a real love story.
As I write the next lines, I think specifically of our daughters, who will grow up in a world where Christian Grey has always been, but also for any young lady or woman who desires true love.
Girls, let me tell you now- please don't settle for this sad, empty picture of love that media is glorifying. You are worth far more and are more precious than any and all the jewels in the world. You were created in the image of the Almighty God. He knew you before any of us even knew you would be. And after giving you the freedom to choose, He pursues with with an endless love. He offers forgiveness and grace when you fail and provides comfort and peace when the days seems dark. Because of Him, you have a deep and abiding value and worth that no one in this world can take away. And because of that, whether you find a man to spend the rest of your earthly life with or not, you already have the opportunity to be a part of the greatest love story ever. Don't settle for the paltry affections of men such as Christian Grey. Don't believe the lies of Satan which tell you it is love. And should someday you meet a man and wish to marry him, I pray here and now that he will be a good man- not as the world would define a good man but as God has ordained a good man to be.
Lord,
I pray for our girls as they grow. We know the world will tell them many things about love, their value and worth and the type of man they should desire. We pray Lord that they would look to You for the truth and that in You and Your love, the answers would become evident.
And I thank you Lord for the good men in my life- my grandfathers, Dad and husband. Men who exemplify love, respect, honor, commitment and devotion and have lived out stories of true love in their own lives.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Enjoy the Journey
A few weeks back, people were asked to call into a radio station to which we listen and share advice from their parents that had stuck with them and affected their life. I heard a few grown children share their memories and began to think of my own. There is one phrase that really comes to mind. It is something I heard from both my Mom and my Dad and it is something that they had to remind me over and over again- even into my adult years.
So as I look ahead, preparing for tomorrow and on to the next phase in my life and my family's, I will live in joy while on this journey, knowing I can trust Him who is faithful to guide me in and through each celebration and sorrow, each sprint and stumble and every other step along the way.
"Enjoy the journey,"
and always following right after was this Bible verse,
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6
I heard this when I went off to college, when I stressed over grades or boys, when I graduated, when I worked two minimum wage jobs and still barely squeaked by, when Drew and I were engaged, when we married, when we announced we were pregnant, when I complained about the Army life, when friends seemed scarce, with each move we made and when news of deployment became a reality.
It sounds like a simple thing and there were times, when I was simply being told to "take a breath, relax and let go" of all the little details that were weighing me down. However over the years, it has really settled in and as I look at the words now, I know it holds so much more weight than simply, "breath, relax, release."
Enjoy- My parents never told me to go and be happy, and I'll be honest- I would be shocked if they had. More than that, I'm glad and ever so grateful that happiness was never their wish for me. No, my parents never mentioned happiness; instead they told me to "enjoy." There are many times in life when I am not pleased or happy about my circumstances- when I feel the burden, struggles and pain of this life pressing down upon me with the weight of world. Instead of encouraging me to seek out happiness, my parents took those times of unhappiness to remind me- both verbally and through memories- to enjoy. Lately I have thought of it as "living in joy," and for me, joy is not something that is dependent upon my emotions or my circumstances. Joy is dependent on Christ- His love, His grace, His faithfulness- and who I am in His eyes. No matter what I face, I can enjoy life because I am a child of God and He is my Heavenly Father; I am a failure on my own but I am a victor through Christ.
It sounds like a simple thing and there were times, when I was simply being told to "take a breath, relax and let go" of all the little details that were weighing me down. However over the years, it has really settled in and as I look at the words now, I know it holds so much more weight than simply, "breath, relax, release."
Enjoy- My parents never told me to go and be happy, and I'll be honest- I would be shocked if they had. More than that, I'm glad and ever so grateful that happiness was never their wish for me. No, my parents never mentioned happiness; instead they told me to "enjoy." There are many times in life when I am not pleased or happy about my circumstances- when I feel the burden, struggles and pain of this life pressing down upon me with the weight of world. Instead of encouraging me to seek out happiness, my parents took those times of unhappiness to remind me- both verbally and through memories- to enjoy. Lately I have thought of it as "living in joy," and for me, joy is not something that is dependent upon my emotions or my circumstances. Joy is dependent on Christ- His love, His grace, His faithfulness- and who I am in His eyes. No matter what I face, I can enjoy life because I am a child of God and He is my Heavenly Father; I am a failure on my own but I am a victor through Christ.
The Journey- We walk through this life with many roads and destinations to reach, but it is often in those mundane moments of everyday, the small choices, that some of our greatest acts and lasting impressions are made. The special events are sweet and such a treat, but my life is carried out each day- in our morning routine, the making of meals, the washing of dishes, the cleaning and errands, the silly songs and serious talks, the full days and the quiet evenings- and in each of those moments, I am given the chance to choose joy and share of myself. The tasks may seem trivial but the work and the walk can often hold the deepest joy and the most meaningful moments.
Proverbs 3:5-6- Of course, I can hardly consider the phrase "Enjoy the Journey" without thinking of Proverbs 3:5-6 and for me, that is only fitting. For how can I enjoy this often crazy, unpredictable, chaotic road I am on, if not for the trust I have in the One who I have asked to guide my feet? My own feet, when led by my own understanding, have often taken me into tough, painful, and even shameful situations, but it is God who has led me through and out of them to a place of peace and rest.
So as I look ahead, preparing for tomorrow and on to the next phase in my life and my family's, I will live in joy while on this journey, knowing I can trust Him who is faithful to guide me in and through each celebration and sorrow, each sprint and stumble and every other step along the way.
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