A New Life

Last Sunday our oldest confessed Jesus as her Lord and Savior and was baptized.

I just have to pause here for a moment. Praise the Lord! There is nothing better- nothing has brought us more joy than watching as she has grown in her faith and taken this step in her walk with God. Happy, happy day and we know that the angels are rejoicing with us!

While our church family saw the baptism for themselves, I had a glimpse of what was going on behind the scenes as Naomi prepared for the baptism. She may have been excited about being baptized, but she was also nervous about being in front of and speaking before a large group of people. This is not the first time we have seen this with her so we had made plans for just such a situation.

Drew walked her through the whole process and then eased her fears with humor. When her nerves cropped up again, we encouraged her to focus on Drew- to look at him and speak as though he was the only one in the room. And in the moment when Naomi needed to repeat her confession of faith, Drew bent down so they could be at eye level with each other.

She did wonderful when the time came and I know part of that came from the calm, strength and encouragement of her father. And as I watched the relationship between Drew and Naomi, I saw a glimpse of the relationship we each can have with God if we will only look to and keep our eyes on Him.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, 

“I will rescue him; I will protect him, 

for he acknowledges my name. 

He will call on me, and I will answer him; 

I will be with him in trouble, 

I will deliver him and honor him. 

With long life I will satisfy him 

and show him my salvation.” 

Psalm 91:14-16

A relationship where we are:

    Met where we are- on our level.

Offered hope, encouragement, strength and guidance.

Experience mutual love and perfect joy.

All resulting in absolute trust and unparalleled peace.

Lord,
We have prayed and prayed for this young girl and her relationship with you, and now as we celebrate this decision she has made, I will pray again- for we know this is not the end but the beginning of a whole new story..... the story of her new life with You. 

I thank you Lord for her decision. I thank you for her keen mind and tender heart which recognized the problem and sought answers. I thank you for all of those who have spoke into her life and taught her through word and example more about You, Your love and a life lived for You. 

Now Lord I pray for her as she starts her new life in You. I pray for her to remain rooted in You, always- ALWAYS- keeping her eyes focused on You, knowing that You are where her identity, strength, comfort and peace will be found. I pray that as she has found that in Drew, she will come to know and trust the same in regards to You. 

I pray that You will give us wisdom as we help her to grow more in her faith and her relationship with You, and that no matter where we may call home, You will help place others- adults and friends- who help her along that path as well.

Protect her tender heart for it is the source of her compassion. Guide her in the ways to use her strength of will so that it helps her to stand confidently in You.

Thank you Lord for loving her and pursuing her. Thank you Lord for giving her to us.

Nothing is Impossible

I have come to love my thirty minute drives to and from church. So often, particularly when I am alone, I find myself mulling over a verse I read earlier or I will spend the time in prayer. I don’t manage to solve the world’s problems, but along the way, God helps me to find understanding and peace regarding my place, my job in the midst of “the world’s problems.” Yesterday was one such day.

Yesterday I felt compelled to pray. My mind was heavy with the many requests I knew of- individuals struggling with persistent health issues, new and unexpected stages of life, surgeries, despair, addiction, lack of faith and more. My heart ached as I considered all the ways sin and its stain was affecting the lives of those near and dear to me. As I prayed, I noticed a theme. I would find myself uncertain of even what to ask for because every possibility I considered seemed impossible…..  but that’s the beauty of prayer. When things appear impossible to us, we can take our concerns and troubles, worries and doubts to the One for whom nothing- absolutely NOTHING- is impossible.

Nothing is impossible for the One who created the heavens and the earth.
Nothing is impossible for the One who made the sun stand still.
Nothing is impossible for the One who preserved- without singe or smell- Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the fiery furnace.
Nothing is impossible for the One who knew the Samaritan Woman’s whole life story.
And absolutely nothing is impossible for the One who conquered death.

Gabriel, the archangel, declared this very thing to Mary when she questioned how she, a virgin, could give birth to a son. (Luke 1:37) And in Matthew 19, Jesus himself stated, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (verse 26)

I don’t know all that weighs on your heart and mind today. I don’t know what you are personally going through or what those you love may be going through, but I do know the One who is able.

I know the One who has brought peace and joy in the midst of pain and loss.
I know the One who has healed what seemed untreatable.
I know the One who holds the answer when medical personnel run out of options.
I know the One who claims victory over every addiction and every sin that bind us.
I know the One who loved us and sacrificed everything for us, even those who still deny Him.

And because I know the One who is able, I know He can do the impossible in your life today. “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” (1 John 5:14) I cannot promise it will always be the answer we are looking for, but it will always be for our eternal good. If we can humble ourselves and acknowledge as Job did, “I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.” (Job 42:2)

Through You
Blind eyes are opened
Strongholds are broken
I am living by faith
Nothing is impossible!

(Nothing is Impossible- Planetshakers)

A New Response

For the past few weeks, someone who had once been a very good friend to both Drew and I has been posting numerous comments, memes, etc. on Facebook that attacked the idea of God. I knew this had been their position for several years now and I have been saddened by their choice. However I have always acknowledged that it is their choice.... their God-given choice.... and accepted that I was not currently in a position to have much influence in their life. But these latest posts have sat with me differently. I don't know if something has changed- if the posts are more caustic or angry- or if it is just a change in my perception, but while I still grieved for this friend's current position and whatever events have led them to a position that appears to be filled with anger, hatred and pain, I also felt a need to address it somehow. Yet the reality is our situation hadn't changed. It had been years since we had the chance to spend time together and it had even been several years since we had a meaningful conversation. How could I hope to reach them when I only know what I see shared on social media? And so I prayed. I prayed for them. I prayed those who might influence them and I prayed for an answer as to what my role might be.

The comments continued and I found myself praying more and more for this individual who I once called friend. But as the comments continued, I found that I was carrying around more and more sorrow for them and it was beginning to consume me and weigh me down. I toyed with the idea of asking Facebook to show me fewer of their comments just to give myself a bit of a break- a respite- but I couldn't do it. It didn't feel right and I didn't want to limit my world to only those who agree with me or cause me no sadness or sorrow. But I needed to find some way to handle all the emotions that were beginning to overwhelm me, so I went to Drew for advice.

When Drew heard my story, he keyed in on the times I had prayed and advised me to focus on that. Drew suggested that each time I saw a post from this individual, I should use it as a reminder to pray for them and then do just that. I loved the idea. I may not feel I'm in a good position to speak verbally into their life at this point, but I can certainly take their needs- known or unknown to me- and place them in the hands of God. And so I went forward feeling equipped for what may come.

The next day, I ran across another post from this person but this time they was specifically attacking Christian parents- and it immediately felt far more personal. They may not have intentionally thought of Drew and I, but in the end, their words referred to us as well. These words were not just unkind or condemning; they were slanderous. They implied that the very fact that we would choose to teach our children about God made us child abusers in their eyes. I was devastated.

I knew I should pray but the sadness and hurt clouded my thoughts, and I struggled to put any words together. How should I pray for someone who held such a terrible view of me? What should I even pray for? I didn't want the prayer to be about me- that wasn't the purpose- but I was struggling to separate out my own feelings in the moment.

But then- as I took a little time just to try to collect myself and my thoughts, something occurred to me. This wasn't a coincidence. Less than 24 hours ago, I had committed myself to pray for this individual on what I believed would be a fairly regular basis, and suddenly I am confronted with a post that cut me deeper and more personally than anything before. And I found myself wondering if Satan wasn't intentionally trying to keep me from praying for this person. It certainly felt that way. And at that moment, I knew there was only one thing I could and should do. So I prayed and when I struggled with the words, God provided.

Since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about the event and the lesson that is so clearly within. I haven't patted myself on the back (or shared this now in hopes of the same) because in reality this should have been my response all along. What was Jesus' response when people insulted Him?

 "Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.” The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.” There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the Jews. One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23: 34-43

Jesus prayed for those who beat him, mocked him, sneered at him and wrongly accused him. If his actions were not enough, he also taught us, saying:

"You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." Matthew 5: 38-42

and later in the same chapter:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Matthew 5:43-45

How do I- how do you- respond when we are insulted or maligned because of our faith?
How often do we allow our first emotions of hurt, anger, sadness to come between us and the chance to reflect God's pure, unadulterated love?
How many times have our emotions and our personal hurt or irritation caused us to view the other party through our own eyes instead of the eyes of their loving Creator?
How often have we responded in a way that suits our wishes but not the will of God?

The reality is that what I shared above was truly minor. It wasn't even directly aimed at Drew or I, but even so, it took a clear reminder from God to help me do what I should have done from the start. If I want to "be prepared in season and out of season"  (2 Timothy 4:2a), I need to start with the little things that are in front of me now.

My Untold Story

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present 

nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, 

will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:37-39

April 1, 2018

Saved from Myself
Oh the work that was accomplished on this weekend so many years ago! This weekend my soul rejoices because I have seen personally how Jesus' death, burial and triumph over the grave can change your life. This weekend, I remember how Jesus' sacrifice, love and forgiveness saved me from myself.

I feel compelled to share this piece of my story but at the same time, I am extremely nervous. This particular time in my life that I want to share was definitely the darkest, lowest, ugliest time I can recall and the thought of exposing it to whomever chooses to read this is a bit daunting. Despite the fact that this was something I struggled with for nearly two years, only a select few even know it existed. Shame, fear, sadness and reproach still cloud my thoughts when I think back to this particular time. Yet I know that God has redeemed this part of my story as well and I trust He will continue as He has done all along. So here goes.........

Back when I was in high school, I went through a time of great self-reproach and disgust. For those on the outside looking in, there would have been nothing to hint that this was going on. I appeared to have things well in hand. I was doing well in school, had several good friends, was involved in numerous extra curricular clubs and activities, and generally excelled at whatever I put my mind to do. However I had been fed a load of lies- a running monologue of all the ways what I was doing wasn't enough and would never be. No person spoke these things to me so I can only assume it was the work of the devil, eager to destroy me with these lies..... and you know what, they nearly did.

I looked at myself and saw nothing but disappointment and failure. Nothing I did was good enough. I lacked self-control and was too selfish, prideful and judgmental. I couldn't see anything of value in myself and did not see any reason people should love or care for me. I had nothing to offer. These things may not seem that terrible to some, but the thoughts were so pervasive and constant I couldn't see a way out and I honestly struggled with the question of whether it wouldn't be better if I just ended things. For nearly two years, I struggled with thoughts of suicide. I made a plan, had access to every thing I needed, and even decided on the best time to act to ensure effectiveness. I remember laying in my bed debating the idea time and again. Do I? Could I? Why shouldn't I?

All that stayed my hand was the love of my Savior. Whenever I seemed to come close to acting on these thoughts, He was there reminding me that He loved me- even at my ugliest. He showed me that I was worth fighting for- even when I couldn't see anything worth saving. From one time to the next, the method He used changed- a friend, a Bible verse, a song- but each time He was there reminding me that I was His precious child, worth everything to Him- even the sacrifice of His own son.

I cannot tell you when things changed because it's too hard to pinpoint one event or moment. It just didn't happen like that, but the more I listened to what God was telling me, the less I heard the lies. And the less I heard the lies, the more I understood the beauty of the cross and the grace and love that are found there. I am here today because God loved me too much to leave me how and where I was. Thank you Lord for your amazing love and grace!

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

This is my story.

This is my song.

I'll praise my Savior all day, every day, long!