Our two little girls are belted into their car seats. I give my Mom one last hug. We pray together. Then I slide behind the wheel of the car and set off. Another journey has begun.
18 hours of driving lie before me.
It doesn't take long for my thoughts to begin to consider all that I am leaving behind and what we are heading towards.
I have enjoyed living closer to my parents and my older sister and family. We still had a good day's drive to get to each other's house. Still 6-9 hours is definitively better than 17-20 and I have enjoyed the short time we lived that close to each other. This day, I had to say goodbye to that proximity. No plans are yet in place for the next time we will see each other and that is always hard to bear.
A little weight lands upon my shoulders.
One of our girls begins to cry which quickly becomes louder and more demanding. I only have two hands and can only reach so far around my seat, but I do what I can. I talk to her comfortingly; I sing. I ask our other daughter to help by giving her a toy. I turn on some lively music that she typically enjoys. My efforts are futile; nothing is working.
Another little weight lands upon my shoulders.
Just as our littlest begins to calm down and accept her situation, our oldest speaks up. "How much longer?" "I don't want to leave Grandma and Grandpa." "I want to go back home." "I don't like this day." "I'm mad at this day!." I offer what little comfort and reassurance I can while still driving.
Another weight drops upon my shoulders.
One hour down. Seventeen to go. Will I survive this trip? Will the girls? How do I help them when I'm weighed down with my own worries, fears, and sadness?
Another weight lands.
Technically we are homeless. We returned the keys to our home a few days back and have no home yet in Colorado. My task is to get there so we can begin the house hunting. How will I juggle the demands of looking at homes with the needs of tired, stressed, unsettled little girls?
Another weight drops.
What church will we attend? What school will our daughter attend? Can I put myself out there again to meet new people and make new friends?
Drop. Drop. Drop.
Focus on driving. The girls may be struggling and asking for you, but you must focus on driving, for the safety of you, the girls and all around you. Right now, driving safely must take precedence.
Another burden lands on my shoulders.
And as I feel the weight land on my shoulder, I know my shoulders are not strong enough to bear up under the burden of all that I am facing. And as the weights drop on my shoulders, I feel the tears drop from my eyes. I am too weak. I do not have the strength to make this journey alone.My shoulders just aren't broad enough or strong enough to bear such burdens.
Then again, I do not have to shoulder the burden alone:
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
"Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Psalm 55:22
My shoulders may feel small and weak when I consider challenges from my perspective and strength alone, but when I choose to give the Lord the burden of my fears and future, I find that the burden is lifted. He asks for faith, trust and confidence in His strength and ability and offers assurance and peace in place of the overwhelming weight.
Lord,
By Your hand, the universe and all that is in it were created, and only by Your hand do they continue to hold together. What power, authority, and might! And still, You take time to care for me and offer to help me with my burdens- if I will but ask. I have done nothing to deserve such attention and concern. Thank you for the use of Your strong shoulders that can carry the weight of this world, offering me support and shelter all in one.
