Perspective

June 3, 2015

Talks with Naomi- This Sunday Naomi started new curriculum in her Sunday School class- looking at the big story of the Bible and how every smaller story ties into God's big story. As we were talking about what she learned in class, we talked about a couple of the smaller stories, which led us to decide to begin to read through one of their Bible storybooks at nap and bedtimes. Both girls have enjoyed the stories, and Naomi's interest and ability to discuss the details of the story and the lessons we can learn from the stories has vastly improved since we last did this. I have so enjoyed the discussions, her interest and questions. I love watching as her thirst for more understanding and knowledge of the Bible and its meanings grow. Beyond that, I am ever so grateful for the children's team (staff and volunteers) at our church who have helped to encourage and inspire this learning all the more.

“You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up." Deuteronomy 11:18-19


June 4, 2015

Lord,

I have struggled with putting a prayer down "on paper" this day. Not because I cannot think of anything to talk with You about, but because my brain just does not want to cooperate. Daily storm fronts often means daily migraines for me and I just haven't been functioning well today because of one. My words are not coming together, but that is the great thing about talking with You. You know my thoughts before I do and even when I cannot put the words together in a cohesive or intelligent stream of thought, You still understand. You are not looking for eloquence and perfect delivery; honesty and regular communication are far more important.

Thank you Lord for listening to me even when it seems like I am only getting out half of a thought. Thank you for knowing my thoughts, concerns, fears, and joys, yet still wanting to hear from me.

"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26-27


June 5, 2015

Fewer Headaches- For years and years, I didn't know and couldn't even imagine going through a day without a severe headache or migraine. Severe pain in my head was a constant and became my norm. It wasn't fun; it wasn't pleasant and it definitely affected my relationships, activities, functionality and productivity.

Moving to Colorado changed that for me. For the first time in well over a decade, I went days, even weeks without a migraine. Headaches and migraines, while still a regular part of my life, no longer held such sway on my days. Then this May happened. May was a wet month. Colorado Springs set an all time record high for precipitation in the month of May- at nearly four times the average monthly rainfall, but more significantly for me is not how much rain fell, but how often we had rainy days. This May, we had storm clouds and often some amount of rain almost every single day and with the constant fluctuation that comes with storm fronts, my migraines returned with a vengeance.

With the entrance of June, we saw some respite from the storms and I noticed that I had this sudden amount of energy. I felt so productive each day. I was doing special things with the girls (gardening, swimming ect), making good meals, running errands and had almost the entire house cleaned from top to bottom- all in a matter of just a few days. I was loving it.

The last few days though, the storms have returned and with them, my migraines. I was frustrated by the sudden limitations I felt, but today as I found myself doing little besides keeping the girls alive and making certain we all ate something thanks to a migraine which plagued me, I realized that I am feeling that frustration because migraines are no longer my norm, and that is one incredible praise!

"Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7


June 6, 2015

Lord,

I do not like feeling limited or restricted by physical ailments, circumstances or anything else. The struggle with migraines has frustrated me over the years but they have been an amazing "teacher" as well. 

Migraines have led to many doubts about my abilities as a wife and mother, a feeling of neediness and extreme dependence on others, and an inability to continue in aeas of service I have enjoyed over the years. Yet migraines have also led to discoveries of new areas of service, the ability to say "no", freedom from concerns on what others might think, moments of rest and silence, and a deep and abiding reliance on You. 

Thank you for the migraines. I never thought I would say that, but I know that they slowed me down, highlighted my inability and need, and guided me to Your loving arms and competent hands. Thank you for Your constancy and faithfulness and the comfort found in knowing the Great Physician. May I never take for granted the "good days," the days without pain and on those days, may I never forget the lessons I have and continue to learn in my weakness.

"But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Our Sweet Heart

June 1, 2015

Compassion- Over the last year, Naomi has had a couple of major struggles- consideration of and sharing with her little sister and a troubling- sometimes mean spirited- attitude. The strength and persistence of these issues has caused me many moments of worry and stress, but through all of those times, there is one attribute of Naomi that always reminds me of what I know is buried deep in her heart. Naomi's compassion for those who are in need is undeniable. When she hears of an opportunity for her or our family to help someone in need- people on street corners, kids in other countries, young families and babies in our community- her first thought is- "Let's help."  So often she says what my heart is telling me but my mind is debating and she reminds me to think less and trust God more. Naomi is a sensitive, tender-hearted little girl who wants to help others- period, and it would take something earth-shattering to take that from her.

"'For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you took care of Me; I was in prison and you visited Me.’ 

Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink?  When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or without clothes and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and visit You?’

And the King will answer them, ‘I assure you: Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’" Matthew 25:35-40


June 2, 2015

Lord,

Having just written about Naomi, it seems only natural to spend some time in prayer for her as well. The more I get to know her, the more I love her. The more I know and love her, the more amazed I am that You would entrust her to someone like me. She is a precious child. Those moments when I get to glimpse her innermost heart, I am in awe of Your design and eager to see who she will become and how she will use it. She is also a challenging child. Most of the attributes that make her challenging now are things that in time and under control can become some of her greatest assets. Guiding her towards that point IS the challenge. 

Deep down though, I know that it all comes down to her heart. A heart which I believe has so much good and kindness in it but which can often be overridden by compulsion and instinct. And so Lord, above all, I want to pray for Naomi's heart. There are so many things that this world can do to taint and misguide her heart. I pray that her heart will withstand all of the barbs thrown at it by Satan and will lead her towards You.  Thus when things get rough and she cannot feel Your protection, she will know You are still there because You are true and You are good.

In the days ahead Lord, I pray that Naomi will not be swayed by the approval of man (or friends) but would above all seek to honor and please You. I pray that her steps and words would be Your truth salted with Your love. I pray that she would maintain her self-assurance temepered with humility and that in everything, her compassion would continue to keep her actively helping those in need. Help us to see how and where we can encourage and support her along this path as she becomes the young lady You created her to be and may love for You be the motivating force in the actions of each and every one of us.

Thank you Lord for being our heavenly Father, providing us with the perfect example of a loving parent. 

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

Prayer and Praise

One year ago, Drew left for Afghanistan. Nearly six months ago, he returned home. We have thoroughly enjoyed our time as a family since then. But as is often the case, time and routine have worn down the shine of reunion and I have allowed the same to inundate me with busyness and tasks. In the process, I have allowed more important parts of my life to slack and it is time that I amend that. So I am going to do my best to get back to basics, to those things which I have found have had the most profound impact on my thoughts, attitude and actions- prayer and praise! It is not necessarily the acts themselves that impact me the most but the reminder of the bigger picture. For when I am on my knees before the Almighty or am praising and thanking God for His providence and all the good He has made and done, little irritations, minor inconveniences, personal insults, failings and pride fall to the wayside.

May 30, 2015

Our Neighbors- They have been so wonderful in so many ways and today was another reminder of that. As I struggled to try to get our push mower to start so I could mow the front yard (something that usually is achieved easily), the neighbor's son came out to mow their yard. He saw me struggle and just as I decided to take a break on that and focus on the back yard, he offered to mow our yard at the same time as theirs. If that wasn't enough- as I pushed our mower back towards our storage shed, he asked if I would like him to mow our back yard as well. This may not seem like a huge offer, but our back yard is not your typical mid-town yard. We live on nearly half an acre of land and it takes me a solid two hours to mow the back yard on a riding mower- not including edging ect. I ended up mowing the back yard myself as I had the means and do enjoy mowing, but the offer was so generous and so greatly appreciated.

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:17



May 31, 2015

Lord,

I have a friend who is hurting this night. You know who and You know why. You also can be present and comfort them in a way that I cannot. Please do so. I cannot imagine their pain right now, their sense of loss but You can and do. This I know and this I trust. I know You are with them now and I pray that they will feel Your presence and are able to rely on Your strength and comfort in the days ahead. Guide my friend, Lord and lead them to quiet waters. 

Thank you Lord for the assurance that we, as believers, have in Your presence, Your providence and Your eternal plan when the direction our finite lives take seems to have been turned on its head. Thank you for experiencing this life and being personally and intimately aware what it feels like to lose a loved one, face betrayal, experience temptation, laugh and cry. Thank you for not only creating and setting this world in motion but choosing to be involved and concerned with our individual needs and our eternity.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

In the Silence of Saturday

Saturday..... the day between Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. What happened in the silence of this day?

We know that Jesus was taken down from the cross and placed in a borrowed tomb before sunset. We know that a guard was placed outside that same tomb. And we know that when the women arrived on Sunday morning, Jesus was no longer in the tomb.

However what happened with Jesus in the time between the guards and the women is less known. I've read various opinions and scholarly discussions concerning this time. And while the conclusions don't always match up, one thing remains constant: Jesus Christ was dead. Both the Apostles and Christ Himself testify to this within Scripture.

"This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him."  Acts 2:23-24 

"When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades."  Revelation 1:17-18  


I may not know, and I have a hard time even trying to imagine, where Christ was or what Christ was doing on this day, but I can imagine what Satan may have been doing. Satan- a being known for his pride which led to his fall and for his lies. How would Satan view this day? Could he see that there was more to come or was he blinded by his own arrogance and audacity?  Did he recognize that this was the fulfillment of Genesis 3:15 "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”? Did he know that this action, which seemed so final and so destructive, was nothing more than a wound on Christ's heel? I can't answer those questions, but because of his pride, I still always imagine the same response from him when I consider this day.

Have you ever seen a rooster in the barnyard, all puffed out, crowing and strutting around? That is how I imagine Satan on this Saturday. On the day when Jesus' disciples locked themselves away in a room, preparing for Jesus' final burial treatment, I envision Satan strutting around in all his pride and audacity proclaiming his victory. The son of God was dead.  Whether he thought he had achieved the ultimate victory or if he was already aware that God was working in the background, I don't know. Still I imagine he was thrilled with the current state of things. Big or small, this was his victory.

But was it?

God may have seemed silent when viewed through our mortal eyes, but God was not dead and His plan was not thwarted. Because Jesus didn't stand before Pilate, die on a cross or lay in a tomb because of any machinations of Satan. No, Jesus did everything because of the will and plan of God. And this "silence", this waiting was part of that plan as well.

So though it seemed as if God was silent and all was grim, never forget that Sunday is still coming.

Good Friday?

Sometimes I struggle with the term Good Friday. I understand that the response of God which we celebrate on this day is good- beyond good, but I cannot think about the events of Good Friday without thinking about the original why. I cannot think about the events of Good Friday without recognizing and mourning my own complicity in it all.

I just read a post where someone referred to today as a Black Friday and sometimes that is more how I view this day.  So maybe sometimes Good Friday feels a bit like Black Friday and I'm okay with that. I'm forgiven and I know I no longer must bear the guilt for my poor choices and sins, yet I never want to forget my role on this day.


-Jesus was  betrayed by His creation and His people in order to open the way between us and God.

"He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. ... By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished." Isaiah 53:3,8


-Jesus bore the crown of thorns and stripes on His back so I wouldn't need to.

"Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted." Isaiah 53:4


-Jesus went to the cross to make restitution for my sins.

"But he was pierced for our transgressions,  he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him,  and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." Isaiah 53:5-6


A Black Friday because everything that happened should have been mine to bear.

Yet the only Black Friday where we all can get exactly what we need and everything we could ever want at the greatest price ever- FREE. Jesus faced it all for me. Jesus faced it all for you. Whether you or I acknowledge who He is and what He has done, He still did this for each of us. That's grace. That's love. That's what makes a Black Friday Good Friday as well.

And we cannot forget whether you find yourself mourning your role or glorying in God's forgiveness and grace, either way- we know that Sunday is coming and there is no question regarding the victory of that day!

The Power to Choose

This Monday I had a situation presented to me which left me with, what felt like, a pretty big decision. I spent a day or two considering the different aspects of my choices and considering possible ramifications for each. I spoke with Drew and another good friend. I asked a few to pray for my decision and I did the same. For three days, I went round and round about this choice. Throughout the process, I felt stress and was often left distracted. Yet once I made my decision and shared it, what peace!

Interestingly though, I had peace despite coming to a conclusion that was not what I or those closest to me might have expected. Yet I had peace because I knew that if and when the day came when I questioned the choice, I would recover easier and more quickly because it had been my choice.

There's power in having the choice; there's responsibility with it as well.

But what about those times when it feels as though the choice has been taken away from us? When the doctor gives you news you never expected and couldn't have changed even if you had some foreknowledge? When a job ends or requires you to relocate? When a child is born with a disability or major illness? When your spouse changes- and not in a way you particularly care for?

Now consider another reality- what if fate really was completely in control and nothing you did or chose would really have any affect on the final outcomes? I know I've personally seen more than one or two shows/movies that have depicted just this idea- following two separate realities based on making a different choice only to have the outcome remain exactly the same. I guess that takes the stress and worry out of decision making. However it also takes away the power and from what I have seen, people like having the power to choose.

Got me wondering why and I was taken back to what I have recently begun to see as one of the greatest gifts to humanity- the gift of choice.

Imagine you are the all-powerful, supreme being who has created other living creatures. As the creator you desire to know your creation and to be known by them. You want to have a true relationship with them- not one based solely on fear and submission as their ruler or creator.

Now imagine you are creating the world they will live in and giving it the laws that will govern every aspect of that world and their lives.

Imagine that you are not only all-powerful but also all-knowing, so even at the creation of the first being you already knew everything about him and all his descendents, their strengths and weaknesses, their successes and failings. And because of this knowledge, you know that giving your creation the power of choice will mean allowing many, possibly even most, of them to defy, deny and discredit you.

In that scenario, would you want to give your creation the power of choice knowing full well that it means giving your creation the ability to not fulfill your greatest desire for them, a part of why they were created?

I can tell you this. This woman, with her severely limited comparison through motherhood, who is obviously far less benevolent would not. Why would I- all-powerful, all-knowing, supreme- why would I do that to myself when I get to call the shots?

And that's what makes it such an incredible gift. God gave us the power of choice- despite knowing the ultimate outcome- because of His great love and benevolence. You may not think about that when you are weighing the merits of your choices or celebrating a well made decision, but there is something in us that loves the fact that we can choose. And there's something in me that can't help but thank God every time I find myself going round and round about a decision. God didn't have to, and given many of the choices I've made, it would have been much easier if He hadn't- yet still He did. And He did so, knowing that one day it would require an even greater sacrifice on His part......His greatest gift.

Oops, I Did It Again

Maybe you loved the song or maybe you cringe as you read the title because of the song, but right now, it feels like a fitting description for me.

For the last week, our two sweet little girls have been on fire. Attitudes, bickering, selfishness, demanding, picking, and arguing are just the beginnings of what has been happening in our home. And while much of it has been directed at each other, one in particular has also directed it at Drew and I. Leading up to this morning, I realized just how much it was wearing on me and I prayed that the Lord would give me the control of emotions and wisdom to best handle each and every situation as it arose. Of course, this morning, the girls were in particularly good form. A morning which started with a great sense of peace and control slowly erroded under me as the girls wore down on my every nerve.

As I prepared their lunches (only a few hours after getting up), I was spent. I just wanted a break, a little time away from the two of them and all that was going on with them. Peace, quiet and time for me... a place to get away from the voices that can carry through the house. How much was I really asking for? So while I stood there with their lunch plates, I found myself listing off the things I wanted away from- the selfishness, the demands, the whining and the constant need to be on my toes to address each. And as I listed off these issues, a thought came to the forefront that silenced all my complaining- because really, that's what I was doing, wasn't it?

How many times have I spent my days whining, bickering, arguing and demanding things from God, the almighty, all-powerful Creator of this whole universe? And when I do (take this morning perhaps), has He ever called it quits or decided to just take a break from me?

No, the Lord is faithful, incredibly patient and loving with me.

As the title intimates, I know I've been in this position before. I have felt the way I felt this morning far more than I would ever wish to admit. I have also had the Lord remind me that He has stuck through it with me; He has been patient and loving even when I am not. Even when I question or forge ahead, fight His leading or ignore His nudges, He still works on me and can work through me. And on those days when I just don't feel able, He shows me that through Him, so much can be accomplished.

Yet still, I find myself back here.

It's the sad story of me but the amazing and incredible story of God and His love.



Heavenly Father,

Thank you. Thank you for not leaving me to wallow. Thank you for sticking with me as I complain and whine or argue over Your guidance. For if you were affected by me the way I am often affected by our girls, You would have thrown in the towel long before. Instead You have patiently reminded me time and again that there is a better way and that the work laid before me is not only God-given but can be God-led. May it be so, Lord. May it be so.