All Things

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge him and He will direct your path.”
Proverbs 3:5-6

This verse is one of those that I find myself going back to time and again. For a long time the verse served primarily as a reminder to trust God and to rest in Him- a promise for those who would trust in the Lord- and what a blessing and comfort when the way has seemed unclear or uncertain.

 But in recent years, I have really focused more on the first three quarters of these verses, and even more so, on the two times the word all is used.

There is a requirement and a promise. The more I think on the word “all,” the more the requirement feels impossible. After all, we have regularly cautioned our girls against the use of words like all/always/never because they are hard to keep or prove true. They are absolutes and therefore something that requires a level of perfection/completeness we cannot pretend to attain. Consider….

“Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart…” This means we must turn over everything we love, everyone we care for, everything we value and trust it to the Lord. My mind tells me that makes perfect sense since the Lord is the Lord God Almighty, creator of the world and all that is in it, the very One whose word brought everything into being and who holds it all together. Where else would I place my trust? But when I really lean into the word all, I start to squirm a little. This means everything. Everyone I care for. Everything I hold to be important and value. I must lay it ALL in the hands of the Lord. I must give up my own control over the situations and leave them with the Lord, even if His path is not one I would choose. Despite all I know of God, sometimes the fear of what that may mean feels too great and I find it too hard to give all.

”….lean not on your own understanding.” This strikes another cord for it goes against all that we are told and taught to believe in our society today. I did a quick google search on relying on yourself and here are some of the first quotes that came up.

“Because in the end, you’re all you got.”
“Depend on yourself before depending on others, because others can let your down, but you can pick yourself up.”
“In the end, the only person you can rely on is yourself.” (Wayne Scholtz)
“Your first problem is relying on someone else’ word. Always depend on yourself. No one will work as hard for you as you will.” (Behdad Sami)
“Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world because even your shadow leaves you when you’re in the darkness.”
“Those who fly solo have the strongest wings.”
“Rely on yourself and be true to who you are. What’s unique about you is what will take you far. Don’t look to others to say you’re okay. You know it- so believe it!- show your own self the way.” (Wayne Dyer)

Some of these quotes come off a little jaded, while others are definitely meant to be inspirational, but in the end, the message is the same. No one knows what is right for you or will do better for you than you, so choosing to “lean not on your own understanding” seems rather counterintuitive and maybe even radical. I mean who could know what is better for me than me? To choose to lean on someone else’s understanding requires a certainty of their good will as well as their knowledge of you and what you are facing. It is no small feat to achieve. For me, it isn't believing God knows all and therefore knows more than me, but it is humbling myself enough to truly seek only His understanding because He knows all and therefore knows more.

“In ALL your ways, acknowledge Him….” Here we are again- another all. In all your ways- all your actions, all your responses, all your interactions, and not just with your family and friends and amenable co-workers. In ALL your ways- that means how you respond to the person who has wronged you, the person who has hurt you- deeply and frequently. It means how you act when what you know to be right goes against the crowd or your family and friends. It means how you treat your enemy, your competition, the gloating victor. In ALL these ways and in ALL we do, we are to acknowledge Him and that means acknowledging that He is the creator of all, He is almighty and all knowing, gracious and just, love and truth and His way is the only right way. And in acknowledging Him in this way, we must also be able to recognize and accept our own limitations and failings, and that can be a hard thing to do.

To trust and rely on God, acknowledging His sovereignty in all things at all times certainly feels like an enormous request. How could God make such a request when He knows we will be unable to keep it?

Because only then can God truly direct our paths. Otherwise, we will be in a sort of tug of war with Him, where we say we are going to leave Him in control but then “this one time” for “this specific person,” we get uncomfortable giving up control. We get scared or nervous of what the outcome might mean if we don’t direct things, so instead of allowing God to direct our path, we snatch a part back and try to do it on our own. God may still walk alongside us but the path is no longer one where He leads. We rob ourselves of the promise and the blessing when we don’t freely offer the trust, reliance and acknowledgment He has asked for. It is a task we will have to work at all of our life, but it will be so worth it- both in this life and for the age to come.

When I focus on that last part, what felt impossible now appears to be one of the greatest blessings of all. It will still take a lot of work on my part and on yours, and we will certainly fail more times than we’d ever care to admit, but God is faithful and will be there when we turn back to Him.

God asks us to give up control and rest in Him. And while those “all” statements may seem so difficult at times, the “all/always” statements God offers in return are incomparable (and this is just a few).


“Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

‘As for God, His way is perfect: the Lord’s word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God?” Psalm 18:30-31

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.” Psalm 34:4-5, 8

“Yes, my soul finds rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:5-8

“Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name. Praise the Lord my soul and forget not all His benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103: 1-5

“The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm- He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” Psalm 121:5-8

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:16

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:31-33

“This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:22-24

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all- how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” Romans 8:32

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20b

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’ And He who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’” Revelation 21:4-5

 

He is making ALL things new. All that I care for, all that I value, all that I know and understand and all that I do. He is making ALL things new. Maybe in this world and maybe not until the next- but that is one promise we can cling to.

Yes, amen and amen! God asks us to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge (Him),” and he replies with “I am with you always" and "I am making all things new!”

He Makes All Things Beautiful

 I've been reading through the Bible this year using a reading guide through an online app that includes a short daily podcast that goes over the reading from the day. I've really enjoyed it. While I don't always agree with the conclusions that are expressed, overall I have found that most days the podcast helps me find purpose and value in texts that would otherwise seem irrelevant for me today. However in the last few days, I have had to read chapters (yes multiple chapters) of almost pure geneology. Verse after verse listing off names of people- most of whom I won't hear about anywhere else in the Bible and a large portion of them whose names I can't read (with way too many vowels!). 

I have to be honest. When I sat down for the podcast after my sixth straight chapter of geneologies, I really wondered what great insight the speaker was going to find for me. I just couldn't see it. And then the speaker explained why the geneologies were so important- not to me, but to their original audience. From that explanation, the speaker showed how those lists showed God's great love for Israel and His desire to restore her. I'd just read several books (pretty much all of them up to this point) where Israel had proved to be more faithful in their faithlessness than in following God and here we are with God doing all that is necessary to restore them. I have to admit that by the end of the podcast, I had tears in my eyes. God's love is that amazing. His faithfulness is perfect and complete.

 And I thought there wasn't much to be found in this list of names.

But isn't that how God often works? He can take anything and make it something beautiful. Whether your facing another  repetitive, tedious task or you're in the midst of something painful- physically, emotionally or mentally, God can take it and turn those moments into something beautiful.

All or nothing

 "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21b

This verse has been playing on repeat in my mind lately.

I've struggled with it internally for as long as I can remember. You see in my head, I know it to be true. God has the ultimate say; He is in control of all things. Every last thing is a gift from Him, and at the end, none of it will come with me. Other translations say, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away." Past, present or future- this holds true. I know this in my head.

But my heart and my will rebel because deep down I've never been comfortable with the second half of that phrase. "The Lord takes away." I mean- I like to think that I have some control over my life- that I make the decisions for my life. Whole-heartedly believing in this verse means letting go of that "right" and recognizing the One who is really in control, even if He takes away something I'm not ready to give up. 

Ugh.... my heart squeezes a bit to even write that last line. 

Yes, I've struggled with the idea that God takes away for a long time- mostly because I've been afraid. But these last few weeks as this verse has rolled around in my head, I started to focus on the first half of that statement. "The Lord gives." It's such a simple statement, and sadly it's one I've taken for granted far, far too often.  The list of all that I have been given is immense....and undeserved. And that is what has made me pause lately. I've been given so much and yet it's also something I have never questioned, doubted or troubled myself over. Those words don't bother me- I'm good with God giving.

But if I try to accept the first statement, "The Lord gives" while refusing to accept the second half, "and the Lord takes away," what am I saying about who God is? I am turning Him into nothing more than one of those token candy dispensers- at my command, tightly boxed-in and limited.

Is that the God I want to serve?
Is that the type of God I want to be in control of my life, this country, our world and all that is created? No. What a poor god I would make of Him.
No if I want a powerful, almightly, all-knowing God of truth, grace and justice, I have to let Him be all of who He is and that includes the God who gives and takes away. 

And that makes me squirm a bit- because it does mean giving up all control, all authority of my life to God, but I also know as hard as it is, it is also the only answer. Things in this life may hurt me or leave me with questions and no answers, but I would be more hurt without Him. I would be completely lost and desperately grasping for anything that looked like an answer without Him- because He is my answer.

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.

Blessed be the name of the Lord!"

I pray that when the time comes that I must face my fear that I will not get lost in the taking away but will rest in the name of the Lord. 

When Life Gets Overwhelming.....

Wednesday morning, I dropped the girls off at school, drove home, pulled into the driveway and stopped. Yes, I stopped the car but it was more than that. I stopped. I found myself sitting in the car and didn’t feel able to move. Physically I was fine, but I had been praying, and as my prayer went on and more names/situations came to mind, I felt overwhelmed. I wasn’t the one in need of prayer, but just the thought of all that was going on with those who we care for and love was too much. (And let’s not even start with all that is happening in our world.)

And so I found my prayers making a sharp right turn. As I sat in my car in our driveway, I found myself taking my own overwhelmed emotions and laying them at the feet of Jesus and thanking Him that situations, where the mere thought becomes too overwhelming for me, are not too much for Him. Each and every prayer of mine- as well as all the prayers of every other person in the world- when we combine them all, it would still not be too much for God. He is enough. HE is enough.

He is enough because there is nothing we are going through that surprises Him. There is nothing we experience that He hasn’t already been present for. That is the beauty of a God who is eternal and immortal, who’s wisdom is perfect and complete. He is present in every moment of every person….. always. There is no future. There is no past for Him. He is present in them all and because of that, He is surprised by nothing and His plans will always be right. It may not look that way from our limited view point and it will certainly not always feel that way, but that is when knowing God becomes so important. When our experiences seem to question God’s love or God’s goodness, the relationship I have with Him reminds me- He is good. He is just. He is faithful. He is true. He is love. And these are not just qualities he possesses. He is the very definition of them. So when I cannot see the good, I trust in who I know God to be and in His promises.

“I will lift my eyes toward the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalms 121:1-2

“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up my yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for yourselves.” Matthew 11:28-29

So what started out as weight that kept me in my seat unable to move turned into a time of praise celebrating who God is and what He is doing even now- when I cannot see it and do not understand.

I will lift my eyes even in the pain
 Above all the lies, I know You can make a way
I have seen giants fall, I have seen mountains move
I have seen waters part, because of You

I remember I remember
You have always been faithful to me
I remember I remember
Even when my own eyes could not see You were there, always there

I can't stop thinking about
I can't stop thinking about
I can't stop thinking about Your goodness

(Remember, Lauren Daigle)

And because of that even though I have not seen any answers to my prayers yet, the rest of my week has been a week of praise- sometimes tearful praise but praise none the less- because I remember. And because I remember, I will keep on praising and praying, knowing that He hears and He cares and He is already there.

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will triumph in Yahweh; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! Yahweh my Lord Is my strength; He makes my feet like those of a deer and enables me to walk on mountain heights.” Habakkuk 3:17-19

I pray the same for you. If you already believe in God, I pray that no matter what you may be facing right now, you will remember He is there- whether you can see Him or feel Him- He is there. I pray you will remember who He is, who He has shown Himself to be in the past and His many promises to those who believe, and you will find comfort and peace knowing your circumstances are in the best possible hands.

If you do not have a relationship with the Lord, I pray you would come to know Him. I pray there would be someone in your life who can show you and speak to you of the goodness of God and His love for you and that you would come to know who He truly is and trust Him too. Because I truly believe it is only when you have a relationship with Him that you can find true peace and true freedom. And should that person be me, I pray that the Lord would use me- not for my glory but for your good and His goodwill.

Running to His Arms

Noelle and Drew have this tradition. Whenever she first sees him (in the morning coming downstairs, when he comes home from work, etc.) and before bed, she always gives him a running jump hug. It is such a joy to watch. He will set down anything that is in his hands and plant himself at one end of the room or hall and opens his arms. Noelle will back up as far as she can and then runs full speed to him, leaping into his arms for one mighty hug. Every time.

Noelle runs to Drew when she needs him; she runs to him when she is hurt, but she runs to him for so much more than that as well. Noelle runs to her Daddy because she loves him, because she is excited to be with him and because she cannot think of a better place to be.

As we were singing the following words this morning, this image of Noelle running to Drew sprang to mind again.

Oh, I'm running to Your arms

I'm running to Your arms

The riches of Your love

Will always be enough

Nothing compares to Your embrace

Light of the world forever reign

(Hillsong, Forever Reign)

And while I can't deny its an image that is precious to me because of the relationship between Drew and Noelle, it took on an even deeper and sweeter image, as I realized this was exactly what had happened when Noelle made her decision to follow Jesus Christ.

When I think back on Noelle's baptism, I remember her sheer, all-encompassing joy. She was literally reverberating with it the day before and the morning of. And as I consider how she runs into the arms of Drew, I can so easily envision how she ran- joyfully and eagerly- into the arms of her Heavenly Father that Sunday morning. Noelle knew He would be there to catch her and she knew it was the place she most wanted to be- in His arms.

"Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see--- how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him!" Psalm 34:8 (the Message)

Sometimes its just that simple. We can make it more complicated. We can ask "why?" or "what if?". We can demand proof and answers. Or we can trust in who we know God to be- in His love and His grace- and run with abandon into his outstretched arms.

Dear Lord,

We praise you for your grace, your forgiveness and your mercy. We deserve none of it and yet you have chosen to lavish it upon us. Thank you. Thank you for Noelle's loving, joyful spirit and for her desire to make you her personal Lord and Savior. As she starts down this new path, we pray that you will give us wisdom to help guide her. We pray that her love for you will deepen and her joy in you will shine like the stars in the heaven, a light to all around her. We pray that nothing of this world will be able to dampen her spirit, but that through and in you, she will find renewed hope for each moment. Thank you Lord for entrusting her to us. We pray we honor you in all that we do.

12 Years as an Army Wife

 Nearly 14 years ago, I did something that I never planned….. never wanted to do- I married a man in uniform.

I was never one of those girls who spent lots of time planning my wedding. In fact, I rarely thought about a wedding when I was younger, but there was one thing I always knew. I did not want to be married to a man in uniform, whether military, police force or fire department. Starting over time and again, making new friends, putting myself out there, deployments, long work days, the unknown. The idea sounded impossibly hard, stressful and lonely, and it honestly terrified me. I was certain it was not the right path for me.

So 12 years ago as Drew took his oath of office and commissioned into the US Army, I found myself in one of the few places I was certain I wasn’t meant to be.

And after 12 years, I can tell you this: it is just as hard as I imagined and there are still so many aspects of the Army life that I find stressful and challenging. I have moved more times than I would ever wish. I have walked into house after house wondering if this would be our next home. I have visited church after church praying God would bring us to a new church family where we could grow and serve. I have said goodbye to Drew and held back the tears, so I could better comfort our girls. I have waited and waited for a phone call that didn’t come, and I have celebrated when our family was reunited once again. I have had to watch our girls say goodbye to dear friends and hold them as they cried in loneliness. I have mourned for them and questioned how our choices will affect them as they continue to grow. I’ve wished for the ease of living in one place with life long friends ready and able to show up at a moment’s notice if needed. All this has only confirmed to me that I was right all those years ago. I am not naturally made for a military life. It doesn’t come easily and I am not strong enough for it.

Yet here I am- and I am certain this is where I am meant to be and that God’s plan is at work right now. Because while I’m not strong enough- HE is! I couldn’t have imagined this life for myself but I believe God had something bigger in mind for me. He just asked me to step out in faith.

To drive 24 hours south to a summer camp in central Texas.
To give a young man from Texas a chance even if it meant our first year together was long distance.
To move away from all of my family to see what might be.
To say yes when asked.
To choose Him and His way over my fear.

And through the years I have continued to see God move in mighty ways- moving me into positions I once again would never have envisioned for myself. But in it all, I have come to better understand, “ Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) For although the Army life is something I never saw or thought I wanted, it’s exactly what I needed.

 In those same 12 years, we have made each place a home and learned that home is less about the house but more about the ones you share it with. Each house has had its own unique challenges, but looking back, I can also see how each has placed us just where we needed to be- whether because of the neighborhood, the community, the neighbors, the proximity to friends/church building, or the school zone.

Each time we have moved, we have found a new place to worship but it has always been more than that, for each church body has become our church family. We have been loved by them, encouraged and challenged by them, supported and assisted by them, and allowed to grow and serve alongside them in every location, and with each move, our family just grew bigger and more diverse.

Each move has taken us to a new part of the country, providing us with the opportunity to meet so many different people at all stages of life and from all types of backgrounds. We have seen through all of this the beauty of God’s creation- in the diversity of the landscape and the endless uniqueness of each individual we’ve met. We have learned that relationships do not have to be defined by time or space but by the love and care between two people- no matter the distance and time between.

God has used our moves to keep me moving figuratively as well. Serving with several different organizations and in ways I never would have believed. He has used these different serving opportunities as stepping stones for future endeavors and I have watched as each has helped me better understand what drives me, what excites me and what I am most passionate about.

We have watched our girls grow in resiliency and courage and seen their faith grow alongside.

We have faced hard goodbyes and had to stare down some of our deepest fears only to find that God had already laid the groundwork to provide for each, helping and supporting us through those He’d placed in our lives. But with some of the hardest goodbyes (deployments), we have also had the opportunity to experience the sweetest of reunions and joy.

Above all else, I have spent those 12 years with my best friend and partner, and together we have made a family with two sweet, compassionate, beautifully unique little girls.

So is it hard? Yes.
Is it stressful? Yes.
Do I feel like a fish out of water at times? Absolutely.
Does my life look anything like what I imagined as a girl? Certainly not- but despite all of that, it is absolutely worth it. All I have learned; all I have seen and experienced have helped to make me the woman I am today. It has deepened my faith and taught me to look to God first and not just when everything is crashing down around me. I still mess up but I can see the immeasurable good that has come from what seemed like the impossible.

So where do you find yourself today? Is there something that you keep thinking about that seems impossible or scary? What is something you are drawn to but don’t feel strong enough or well-equipped for? Let God lead you. Take a step of faith and see what mighty, incredible things He has in store for you. I can tell you this, the path will not always be easy, but it is worth it, and you’ll never regret following His leading in your life.

Two Roads

For the last month or so, Drew and I have been standing at an intersection point in our lives. Two paths lay before us, and we were going to have to decide which one to take. As I looked at the two options, the decision seemed impossible. Both paths would come with benefits as well as concerns/disadvantages, and I truly could not see anywhere where the balances really tipped in favor of one or the other. One day I would lean towards the one path, and the next I was leaning in the other direction. There was good in both; there was uncertainty in both. There were things I looked forward to in both; there were things I feared in both.

Throughout all of our decision-making process, we have been praying that God would lead us onto the path that was best for us- both individually and as a family. Drew and I desire above all else to serve the Lord and walk in His will, and so we asked Him to show us what that was in this situation. As time went on though, I had to admit that one direction was definitely the desire of my heart, and I very much wanted to see God moving us in that direction. So I prayed just for that. I told God how much I liked the idea of the one path and asked him to open a door- clear the path even just a little bit- in that direction if it was in His will and would be good for us.

I prayed and I watched. I looked for anything that might appear to be an open door or even a cracked window. And out of the blue, an opening appeared…. but not in the direction I wanted. The opening wasn’t a definite though- just a bit of a clearing- and so I prayed again. I acknowledged the opening that had appeared and expressed my confusion and prayed that God would just make things a bit clearer. All the while, I laid the wishes of my heart at his feet and asked Him to direct us.

A week ago, the time came when the decision had to be made. Drew received two pieces of news; one didn’t move us much to the left or the right, but the other confirmed that although the opening wasn’t definite- it was highly likely. The path that I liked less was being opened to us more and more. Meanwhile none of my research- of which I did a great deal- had cleared the way at all on the path I longed for.  I wish I could say that I recognized right then and there that God was showing us what to do and that I made the decision myself to follow along that path…. But I couldn’t. There hadn’t been any flashing signs pointing us in one direction or the other- only gentle nudges- so maybe, just maybe, God hadn’t given us a final answer yet.

Drew and I talked that night after which he told me the direction he thought we should go. It wasn’t the choice my heart wanted, but deep down, I knew it was the choice we were being called to make. And in that moment, I had to admit to myself that perhaps God’s answer to my prayers had been a “no.” It hurts to admit that because I wanted the one path so very much, but I have also seen God work in mighty, incredible ways after gently and lovingly telling me “no.” The path has rarely been easy and has often been downright painful, but looking back at those times, I am so grateful God didn’t give me what I wanted. Instead He said “no” and gave me exactly what I needed.

And so we have taken our first steps down the one path- moving forward in confidence that the Lord has directed our steps and will see us through because we have seen what the psalmists knew when they wrote, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” Psalm 37:5 and “those who know your name, put their trust in you, for you O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10

It’s only been a week since the decision was made, and I find myself mourning the path we will not take- needing time to say “goodbye” to the dream, so I can move forward without regret or doubt. I am vulnerable in that way, and the adversary is certainly trying to take advantage of that. Already I can see doubt and fear trying to undermine that confidence. In just the last few days, I have had three separate occasions where I have been forced to face the hardships we will likely endure on our intended path. The fears, the frustrations that made this path less appealing are staring me in the face, prodding me to turn back, but there is no turning back. Circumstances won’t allow it, and deep down, I know the only way through this life- no matter what path we had chosen- is to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, for He is my savior and deliverer, and He has promised, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

So as I take the next step down the path set before us, I think back to the Robert Frost quote above and remember that the diverging paths set before me wasn’t actually about the decision we made. No in reality, it is something far greater: To follow Christ in all things or to go my own way. And I trust that because of His leading-- the hard road, the dirtier road- the road less traveled- is the road that will lead us to our greatest joy and peace.

 “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6