Ecuador: To Walk in Her Shoes

Tuesday and Wednesday would have similar schedules. I do not know that I will walk through each moment from each day. In fact I will likely combine similar events fom the two days together. In order to get a quick sense of the overall plan for the days, here is a general schedule:

• Breakfast
• Travel to Gozo de Dios church and project
• Devotion with church and project staff
• Staff training and painting project
• Sponsored child(ren)'s home visits
• Lunch
• VBS prep
• VBS
• Dinner for children
• Movie

Presenting it in such a manner comes off as fairly cut and dry, but the days were anything but. The moments in those days would prove to be so precious and dear.

When we arrived at the church building on Tuesday morning, we did not yet know who would be going for their child's home visits on which day. Still the anticipation was quite palpable as we each looked forward to spending more time with our sponsored child(ren) and the others at the Compassion project. I would not have to wait long as Alejandra arrived at the church building shortly after we began devotions. Like us, she was eager to spend time with me and share her home with me. Almost immediately she began to speak about her "casa." But we would have to be patient. The trip leaders needed time to map out where the homes were and identify which team members would head out together. (We would visit three or four homes, one being the home of our sponsored child.) So what did we get to do in the meantime? We enjoyed a few wonderful hours together. At first we sat down with a translator and had the chance to share a bit. It remained daunting as I found that once I was sitting there face to face with Alejandra, all thoughts, all questions and words seem to flee my mind and I was left just looking at this precious young girl. Thankfully the translator who was assisting us seemed to understand and she helped to get my thoughts rolling.

Alejandra during our game of Uno

After talking a bit, I asked Alejandra if she would like to play a game of Uno. She had never played before but was excited to learn. We invited her grandmother Mariana to join us along with a few other team members and a translator to help explain the game. I paired up with Alejandra for the first few hands until she no longer needed my assistance. It was a truly enjoyable time. I would end up playing Uno with locals on both Tuesday and again on Wednesday and both days, there was laughter and huge smiles all around. Uno truly proved to be a game that easily overcame language barriers.

The game grew on Wednesday. By the end of the morning, almost every team member was paired up with a child, helping them play.

 Finally the time arrived for us to head out for the house visits. When Alejandra found out that her house would be the first one we visited, she was ready to take the lead. We would walk hand in hand through the town on our way to her home. As we walked, I realized just how much larger the town was than I had first imagined. What had first felt like a smaller, more rural village turned out to be a well sized town, of which I had only seen the very southern edge. What a wonderful reminder to use caution and refrain from assumptions at first appearances!

We would walk a fair distance, passing the school Alejandra attends, but we would still have a ways to go. It was quite warm and the sky was clear this day, and so I quickly found myself succumbing to the heat. Yet as I asked about Alejandra's regular schedule, I found that she would make this trip on foot two afternoons each week, both trips on days after she had already walked to and from her school. Without even arriving at her home, the challenges they face and the conveniences we take for granted were already becoming apparent.

Alejandra lives in her grandparents' home, with both her grandfather and grandmother as well as her mother and young aunt (8 years old). Immediately adjoining their house is the home of another aunt and uncle with her young cousin. Knowing that her grandfather was a regular part of her life brought me great comfort as absentee fathers continues to be a big problem for much of Ecuador, and it had become apparent to me at our first meeting that Alejandra's father was no longer in the picture.

Upon arriving at Alejandra's home, I found that in comparison to many of the houses we had passed, her home appeared to be in a better, more sound condition. Don't get me wrong, her home was still very modest- walls of cinder blocks, dirt floors, one door at the entrance, the rest of the doorways solely covered with sheets- yet there was a sense that the family was able to maintain and tend to the basic needs of their home.

We were not able to stay long as we still had two other homes to visit, but I found her entire family to be so very welcoming and generous.

Alejandra's grandfather, grandmother, mother, aunt, Alejandra and myself in her home.

Generosity and graciousness would be the theme for all of the house visits I was a part of as well as others I would hear about. No matter what circumstance these families currently found themselves in, they each opened their homes freely, shared what they had with us (from meals and drinks to fresh papaya and whole watermelons) and many returned with tokens, gifts or letters from their sponsored child. When asked what needs we could pray for, the response I heard time and again was that they had all they needed. They might acknowledge health problems or other issues which we would see as dire, but would still stop to praise God and say they had been blessed and provided for. How humbling to see these people in what were easily the most humble of circumstances, and yet, they could readily thank God and claim they were blessed.

The home of one of the other sponsored children. If I remember the details correctly, the family was no longer living in the house as it was structurally unsound due to the earthquakes.

And another child's home, which also houses a small store in the front to help support the family.

 What lessons we can learn from these gracious, generous people! Even as I write this, I cannot help but think of a recurring conversation that has transpired in our home these last few weeks. The days have been exceedingly warm and our house has no air or whole house fan to help with the heat of the day. We rely solely on a breeze through the windows and numerous fans. Needless to say, the temp in our house has stayed in the high 80's for a few weeks now, and we have commented on the heat and lack of air conditioning. But even without central A/C, we have the benefit of a solid, well built house, a sound roof, windows that let in the breeze and keep out the insects, several fans, fresh, cool, clean water easily available at the flip of a faucet and so much more. And yet even with these conveniences, we complain about what we do not have while the families we met in Ecuador live with little chance for most or any of the conveniences I just listed and still view themselves at blessed.

May I never lose sight of how much we have been given, much of which goes beyond our true needs and may I always remember that the greatest blessings from God are not the things we can touch but His love and grace, forgiveness and salvation.

Ecuador: Supporting the Servants

If you looked at the purpose and mission for our time in Ecuador, it would be fairly safe to say that it was two fold: (1) to meet and spend time with the children from the Compassion project, particularly those whom we sponsor- loving on them and learning more about their day to day life and (2) to encourage and build up the staff of the Gozo de Dios church and the Compassion project located on the same premises.

Monday was a day we devoted exclusively to the second half of that mission. This day was a surprise for most of us on the team as it came about as a result of a late request from the staff in Ecuador with details being worked out possibly even while we traveled. In the end though, we would meet with 10 individuals from the church and project at a nearby water park. 

Some of the amazing staff at the Gozo de Dios church and Compassion project in Ecuador. Pray for them as they continue in their work!

So first things first, a water park? Really? My first instinct says that this doesn't sound much like a mission trip, but the water park provided us with a great venue to gather in the morning for Bible study, devotions, some team building and space to break out into small groups to better get to know individuals from the other group. At the same time, it also provided a relaxed environment where we could enjoy time together even when communication was limited due to our native languages and it offered a bit of respite for the hard-working members of the Compassion project and church.

This day of bonding, learning and relaxing helped to set the stage for the rest of our time together and in many ways knit us together more as one unified team than two distinct groups working together for a time. 

Our entire team- North Americans and South Americans together at the water park

During our break out time, our group- made up of 5 North Americans, 2 Ecuadorians and 1 translator- shared our stories- how we had come to the Lord and what had brought us to our present place. I had the opportunity to learn more about Rosita, the director of the Compassion project, and Priscilla, one of the three tutors (teachers) at the project. Their stories are not mine to share, but I can say that they were compelling and inspiring. Overall, I was amazed at the resiliency, strength and faith of these women, persevering and serving in the light of their pasts and presents. Several of the North Americans also had a chance to share and at the end, one man remarked that although each of our stories were quite different and unique, one string seemed to unite them all: we all had stories that involved great pain and brokenness. Isn't that the beauty of Christ and his love? He meets us in our brokenness, lifts us up and can turn that brokenness and weakness into strength. We were united in our brokenness- in our need for a Savior- and united in our faith in the only One who can redeem us from the same. 

A couple of the break out groups from that morning

That evening, we returned to the Gozo de Dios church and split into groups so that we could walk around town, praying for God to move mightily in this land. As we walked through the town, it was a humbling and powerful time. I would write afterward:

"Nothing can take away from meeting, spending time with and loving on Alejandra, but today was for me invaluable. After spending time with the project staff, we headed back to ***** where we went on a prayer walk around the village. My emotions broke then and the tears flowed. This village struggles with youth pregnancies, absent fathers, adultery, homosexuality and a strong presence of witchcraft as well as facing severe poverty. Of all the things we bring to this village, our prayers in the village will outlast all of the rest. It is the intangible parts of our visit that will likely have the greatest impact."

 Our stay in Ecuador would be short. Our financial support, while consistent, meets only the most pressing of needs. The impact of our presence- the validation and value it inherently implied- and our prayers would last well beyond our short week.

A group of us praying together at the end of our walk

In the days that followed, we would continue to meet with the staff in Ecuador for devotions and meals and it would not be a surprise to see North Americans and Ecuadorians sitting together, playing cards, preparing meals, or working through the details for the afternoon's VBS. We were only to be with them for a short time, but our hope was that in that time, we could join them in their work and encourage and build them up for the days ahead.

Ecuador: At Last, We Meet

Sunday night and we were headed to the Gozo de Dios Church for the first time. The excitement in our bus was nearly palpable, but the emotions within me were more of a jumble:
--- Excitement- Of course. Excitement that the real purpose of the trip was about to begin.              Excitement that we would be meeting the children we had been supporting, communicating with and  praying for.
--- Uncertainty- Would I meet Alejandra tonight? Would I recognize her or had she changed since the last photo we received? If I do, what do I say? What should I ask?
--- Doubt- How will I communicate even the most basic of things? My Spanish is so poor.

Not long and we arrived at the church building. As I stepped off the bus, I saw before me a row of little boys lined up to greet us. The boys were all younger, standing one after the other, each with a huge smile, and I found myself being slowly pulled forward, moving from one little boy to the next, giving hugs to each as I went. It was one of the incredible, unbelieveable moments where the sensations never fully leave you.

Pastor Guillermo, Maria and some of their family in front of the Gozo de Dios Church.

At the gate I was greeted by Pastor Guillermo and his wife Maria and from there I passed through to a sidewalk lined on both sides with children and family members. As I continued to greet the people and give hugs to most everyone along the right side, I became aware of the fact that I was missing so many others off to the left and as I turned to focus a bit on those children, a taller girl ran up to me and gave me a huge hug. It as Alejandra. She had picked me out of the crowd, and yes, she had grown from the last photo we had received. Alejandra took me over to the family who had come with her: her grandmother, her aunt Sarai (8 years old) and her cousin Mateo (6 years old). Immediately I could tell that I had been embraced by the entire family. The smiles on their faces were as big and beautiful as Alejandra's. With the help of a translator, we were able to exchange some basic greetings and details. After which we headed into the church building, so we could make space for the many still behind us.

A look at that first meeting from one standing inside the church building.... and yes, off on the right side, you can see where I am speaking with Alejandra and her family (not visible).

As we headed into the building, the excitement continued to build though the other emotions didn't leave me. Without a translator, we found ourselves trying to speak/ask questions but unable to understand each other. Personally I was frustrated that I couldn't understand her, wishing I had learned Spanish and not French. This language barrier also left the silence feeling a bit strained and awkward. Still with each glance Alejandra and I shared, the smiles between us only seemed to grow. We would sit down for a joint church service, a beautiful time where language wasn't a barrier, and love and worship for our Lord brought us together as one.

My first picture with Alejandra

After the service, we were asked to stay for a special celebration. Each year on June 1st, Ecuador celebrates Children's Day (along the same lines of Mother's Day and Father's Day). The project had postponed their celebration so that we could join in the festivities. Alejandra headed off with her aunt, cousin and other children, their excitement only growing. I would follow along after, all the while seeing members of our team holding and hugging children, giving piggy back rides and playing a bit outside. By the time I entered the project's kitchen/dining area, the room was full. Children lined both side with adults filling the back and kitchen area. Behind them, the kitchen staff were hard at work preparing a dinner for the children to eat after a little fun and entertainment. 

A lady in full clown gear led the children in chants, songs and dance. The eldest member of our team, an incredible man in his 80's, led the way for all of us Americans, heading out to the center to dance and hand out high fives to the children. As I watched, many of the doubts and uncertainties left me, for while my Spanish was no better, there are many ways to show love and friendship that don't require words. Craig had reminded me of that. 

Craig out with the children

One song later, they asked all of our team to head out and join the children. This was all the invitation I needed and as I stepped forward, the children nearly engulfed me. I couldn't take even the tiniest step for fear I would hit someone's toe.... or more. With a bit of manuevering though, I would make it to the middle of the room, near Alejandra, Sarai and Mateo. Many others from the team would find themselves surrounded by children as well. Throughout the song, we all danced, sang and laughed. Then we laughed some more. It was a joy to see Mateo's grin and amusement at my efforts. Taking that first step and joining the children in their fun and amusements helped to break the last of my doubts, and I found myself letting my instincts take charge- scooping up Sarai and sitting down with the three of them, until it was time for them to head to their classrooms for dinner.

We would help to serve dinner to the children, running trays with plates of food across the open space from the kitchen to the classrooms and then helping to clear them as the children finished. Although we couldn't fully communicate with the kitchen staff and had never been in this situation before, everywhere I looked our team was moving together to help accomplish this feat. As one need was fulfilled, we moved to the next. It was another beautiful thing to witness.

Before we knew it, our first evening with the children was over. I think it is safe to say we were all exhausted but we were all energized and excited for what the next days would bring as well. 

As we left the town and headed back to our hotel for dinner ourselves, my prayer was simple:

"Lord, bless them and help us to love them even when the words aren't possible."

Ecuador: The Journey Begins

As I headed to the airport on the morning of June 4th, I was feeling unprepared. Don't get me wrong- my bags were packed. I had all the necessary items for a week in a foreign country (plus probably a fair number of "extras) as well as gifts I had put together for our sponsored girl and her family. I had attended the preparatory meetings that focused on language and guidance on entering a different culture. Outwardly I was ready, but when it came to my head and my heart, I just didn't feel like I had found or made the time to prepare the way I wished.

23 of our 25 member team ready to depart from Colorado Springs

Straight out of my journal: Stillness

"The last many weeks have been busy. It has been a good busy- babies to celebrate, weddings to attend, cakes to bake, end of school year events,  graduation parties, increased work with the missions ministry all while still striving to maintain a pleasant home and home life. Oh and how could I forget the preparation and beginning of the class for special needs children. I'm thankful for the friendships that have led to so many reasons for celebration, and I love the opportunity presented in my role with missions and the special needs class. Yes, the busy-ness has been good, yet so is the stillness.

For now I find myself on a plane headed for Miami and from there on to Ecuador with little to do now but rest and be still. And stillness is just what I need at this moment- a chance to "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) A chance to slow down, reflect on Him and seek Him out as I prepare for this next event....

Ecuador!

I am excited that I can go, grateful for Drew's encouragement and flexibility, and eager to meet Alejandra and learn about her and her community. I want to pour love and joy into her life and show her that, despite my failings, she is so frequently on my mind. I want to thank and encourage those who work with her at the center- those who are on the front line in reaching out to her and sharing God's love. Yet I cannot do that if I am empty or weary from all the wonderful busy-ness.

So I sit here in the stillness (if you ignore the turbulence) and the relative quiet and ask....

Lord, use me. Make me your hands and feet to go and share your love to a lost and struggling world. Take my mouth and fill it wholly with Your words and Your love. Make my thoughts and actions captive to Your will and guide me through this week.

Use me- for Your glory and Your kingdom."

I would have hours to focus on God and ask Him for His guidance throughout this trip as the journey to Ecuador was comprised of three separate flights, totalling approximately 3,600 miles in the air, and I intended to make the most of those miles. Honestly as is often the case, after praying over the whole situation and reading some from my Bible, I found myself feeling far more calm about the whole situation. I had found peace and rest in His presence- once again.

By the time we arrived in Guyuaquil, Ecuador, it was early Sunday morning. We would make it to our hotel for that "night" at 3am and I would find myself laying down by 4am. As tired as I was, I found it hard to sleep due to the excitement at being so close. 4 hours later, my alarm would go off so I could prepare for the remainder of our journey.

I found myself journaling again: Refreshing

"After only 4 hours of sleep, we are up again and preparing to head down for a meeting after which we'll head to the coast.

4 hours isn't much for a night's sleep. Both my roommate and myself decided to take a quick shower just to rinse off. My roommate came out saying it was worth it and I was left feeling refreshed. Thank you Lord for that.

Lord, may we not be the only ones refreshed. Give everyone an increase of rest within our group and prepare us so that we may refresh those who work and serve You here in Ecuador. They have been through so much lately due to the earthquakes and we know spiritual forces are at work here as well. May we bring Your refreshing to this region and Your servants here.

Isaiah 40-29-31 "He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary."

Before we boarded the bus to take us out to the coast of Ecuador in the town of La Libertad, we held a meeting where we met the in-country Compassion workers who would work with us and assist us with translations throughout the week. During the meeting, we also learned a bit more about Compassion's work in Ecuador and the region around La Libertad. During the meeting, one of our translators shared a story with us about a well-known pastor in the La Libertad region and how he got his start. In his early 20's, this pastor was taken out to the La Libertad region by his pastor and told they would be holding a church service. They went through town announcing and inviting people to a service that evening. They then went to clean up the space where they would meet. The door to the meeting room was locked and no one had a key. In the end, they would break the lock, so they could enter the building to sweep and later hold service. At that first service, only a handful of people attended, but that first step would eventually lead to a thriving church body that would help to plant numerous churches throughout the region.

Breaking Chains
"What a perfect image!

Without God, a place or a person is like an unkept, locked room with no key present. Love and Christ are the key. Joy can be found within.

We have been called to loosen the chains of injustice, set the oppressed free and break every yoke. Just as the pastor broke the lock on the door, so we can break down the chains that bind us and others through the power of Christ.

Isaiah 58:6-8 "Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free and break every yoke?“Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into the house; when you see the naked, to cover him; and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? “Then your light will break out like the dawn, and your recovery will speedily spring forth; and your righteousness will go before you; the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard."

From Guyuaquil we then travel by bus to the coastal town of La Libertad, where we would stay for the remainder of our trip. On the bus, I was feeling the effects of only 4 hours of sleep. In some ways, I wish I could say that by the grace of God, I experienced no headaches or migraines for the duration of the trip, but that wasn't to be. Less than 12 hours in country and I was struggling with a migraine. All I could do was pray that God would give me the energy and clarity of mind when it was needed so that my physical ailments wouldn't limit me during the trip. This will be the only time I mention my headaches because each and every day and with every headache, I can say the same thing: "God provides." I can remember dealing with headaches almost everyday that I was in Ecuador, but I have no memory of pain or impairment of thought (a common issue that I have with my headaches) while we were at the church or with the children. I may not have been free from headaches, but God brought me through each and every time as needed. God be praised!

Looking out at La Libertad- to the east

and to the southwest

And so the majority of our traveling was over. We had made it to La Libertad. We would have to drive on to the town where the Gozo de Dios Church and Compassion project were located, but we had been brought safely this far. With the traveling behind us, we could now look forward to the work and fun that lay ahead.

Ecuador: How did I get there?

As I began to think about sharing my Ecuador story, I realized I really must start at the very beginning- as Maria says in the Sound of Music, "a very good place to start. When we read we begin with ABC," when I think of what took me to Ecuador, I begin with a church service two and a half years ago.

Christmas time 2013- We had recently begun to regularly attend Academy Christian Church. This particular Sunday, the church was taking up a final offering to cover the costs of a church plant in coastal Ecuador through Stadia.

Fast forward several months to the summer of 2014. The church complex in Ecuador had been completed including facilities which would house a new Compassion International children's project for the local town and community. After registering all of the initial children for the project, Compassion brought their packets to our church so we could have the first opportunity to sponsor the children from the community where we had helped to plant a church. During service, someone spoke about this special event and explained the connection and sponsorship program. They then went on to say that we could go out and choose a child(ren) to sponsor, or if we didn't have a preference, we could raise our hand and individuals would be around to hand interested families a child's packet. As I began to think about how we might look for a young girl- possibly close in age to Naomi or with a birthday on or near one of our girls' birthdates, Naomi's hand shot into the air and someone handed her a packet for an 8 year old girl named Alejandra. After receiving the packet, she looked at me and asked, "We can, can't we?" I told her "yes," but briefly wondered if we should still look for someone closer to Naomi's age. However the thought was fleeting. Instead of trying to choose from a myriad of children, God used Naomi's actions to bring us the girl we would sponsor. I couldn't say no to Him or to her. And so through the compassion of Naomi and the providence of God, we began to sponsor and communicate with Alejandra.

The following spring (2015), our church family sent a team down to Ecuador for the first visit to this town and the Gozo de Dios Church to which we were so closely connected. The reports they brought back were incredible, but it seemed impossible that I could do something like that any time in the near future. After all when it came to schedules, I always needed to take into consideration the girls and they were far too young for a mission trip yet.

In December 2015, the church announced they were looking into a second mission trip to Ecuador and would be holding an informational meeting in January to see what kind of interest there was within the church body. I remember talking to Drew and telling him how much I would love to go, though I also quickly noted that I'd just have to wait for the girls to get older. Days later, a letter arrived in the mail from Alejandra. She had written it several months earlier and mentioned the visit from the church members earlier in the year. She stated that she had hoped we would be a part of that first team and wished that we might come down sometime soon. This letter pulled at my heart. There was nothing more I desired than to fulfill that wish and yet I just couldn't see how it was possible.

The informational meeting was held in January and as the day approached, Drew told me to go. He said he was certain we could work things out for the girls and it didn't hurt to find out more details on the trip- at the very least. By the time of the meeting, Drew had determined that he would submit a leave request for the duration of the trip so that he would be free to watch the girls while I was away. During the meeting, I was excited but continued to think about all the reasons "why not." The cost was not insignificant and was so much to spend on something I would do alone. Where would the funds come from? Would Drew actually be able to take leave? We typically plan family trips around dates that work for Drew's work schedule, but this would require that his schedule worked around my dates. That's just not something I generally expect due to the nature of the Army. Then there was the reality that we anticipated another military move sometime in 2016. We have rarely received more than 4 weeks notice when it comes to his PCS orders, and at the time, Drew was talking about the possibility of a change of command in April/May with a PCS shortly after.  This idea appealed to us as we figured it would make things easier for Naomi in regards to school. What if we ended up being scheduled for a move within days or weeks of the trip? How would I get the house prepped for the move if the dates fell too close together? What if Drew needed to report while I was gone? The questions were many (though some were far-fetched) and left me with doubts. Yet despite all of the hesitations and "obstacles" I raised, Drew continued to tell me all would work out. And so, I found myself registering for the trip and turning in my deposit.

So Naomi brought us Alejandra. Drew made it possible for me to go to visit her and above and through it all, God guided us and provided for each need and wish.

I was going to Ecuador!

 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Unwavering

This morning our daughters had the opportunity to wave palm branches during our morning church service. Their excitement was nearly tangible and definitely unmistakable. As I watched their joy, I couldn’t help but imagine what it was like in Jerusalem so many years ago when Jesus actually did enter the city to a crowd praising him in words and actions.

Yet just a few days later, we see the culmination of plotting and bribery and find Jesus before Pilate, left to go to the cross while another notorious criminal’s punishment is commuted. It is quite likely that some of those who waved branches and shouted “Hosanna” on Sunday were also crying for his death by Thursday. Oh the fickleness of man!

I love this week though because although the emotions swing wide- from joy and celebration on Sunday to plotting and anger on Thursday, despair on Friday and triumph the next Sunday- God’s love and faithfulness are unwavering.

No matter where my life has taken me or how this next week goes- when my emotions swing wide and I feel the lowest- even then God remains faithful. His love and mercy continue to reach out to me and offer me a hand up, a chance for victory. All I have to do is grab hold, let Him lead and never let go.

Property of God

Several weeks back, we were studying stewardship at church. One Sunday, we were each given a small stack of stick-it notes that had the phrase "property of God" printed on them and we were encouraged to use the notes to mark those items for which we need to loosen our grip and remember that they are not ours in the first place. I have been thinking about my list for the last many days and I have recognized that while I have some tangible items I could mark with a stick-it note, others would prove difficult. Since a stick-it note won't work for everything, I want to start here, with a list:


(1) Myself- I wish I could take credit for this observation, but another thought of it first. None the less, the truth of it still holds. All that I am, my very breath is God-given. Everything I accomplish and all the good I do has been accomplished by God's design or through His express leading. All that I am yet to do should be for His glory and not my own.

(2) My time- I like having a schedule because I like knowing what is coming up and being able to prepare for it. So for me, this is a BIG one. I may schedule my days but in the end, my time (what I do each hour and how many hours I remain on earth) are the Lord's. I can be quite task-oriented and results driven which causes me to hold tightly to my schedule. In those moments, people become interruptions to be quickly addressed. When I hold loosely to my plans knowing my time is ultimately the Lord's and all the results are His, people become the focus and purpose.

(3) My health- Generally I would say that I am in good health and frequently when I am ill, I can become frustrated by my inability to function in the way and to the level with which I am accustomed. Yet in those moments of weakness, I often find the strength of God, the grace and compassion of His people and see more clearly His priorities in the place of my own busyness. The Lord can and will use me for His purposes whether I am well or sick. It is my place to allow that to happen and seek Him whatever comes my way.

(4) Savings Account- I believe " The Lord gives and the Lord takes away," and so I believe that all of the money in all of our bank accounts is from the Lord. I also believe that "to whom much has been given, much shall  be required," and the way I see it- no matter what our income- we have been given so much financially. So all of our finances are the Lord's, and we will be held accountable for how we have used those funds. Ye while I know that money will come and go with our checking account, I have a much harder time when it comes to our savings. It can be so hard to spend money that we have placed in our savings account- even when it is for a worthwhile cause. The questions- the fears of "what if?" However it all goes back to how tightly I hold to my plans- in this case, plans for our savings. Will the funds in there be used solely according to our predetermined plan or will I remember that the funds are ultimately His?

(5) Our Children- Our girls are gifts from God, entrusted to our care. They may have lived inside my womb for many months and may have received 50% of their DNA from me, but they are not mine. They are God's design and His creation. It is not my job to make them into the people I want them to be but to help guide them so they can grow into the young ladies God has created them to be.

(6) The Bible- This one may seem obvious because we often refer to the Bible as God's word and in the process we are giving Him ownership. However it is all too easy to turn to the Scriptures to find- not God's word- but our answer. Armed with knowledge of what we want the Bible to prove or disprove, we can often find or make a verse/passage say what we want it to say. I see this often in Biblical arguments and each time they remind me that I also need to be careful in approaching the Bible, to hear- not what I want, but- what God would say.

(7) Our Vehicles- Our vehicles aren't anything terribly special, but they were and remain two of the largest investments we maintain. And if for no other reason, their cost/value makes them something I fret over. Each little scratch, ding, or rub, not to mention the perpetual cracked windshield we seem to acquire, makes me cringe and can cause me to tighten my grip. Really though, why did we purchase the vehicles? Was it to keep them pristine, shiny and looking brand new or did we intend to use them as a means to attend work, visit family and friends, and generally share in life. Our vehicles are a means- a tool- and in the end, ultimately they must be at the disposal of God. Though even now writing that statement makes me stress a bit. Looks like there is still lots of room to grow.

(8) Drew- Drew is my husband. He is my love, my partner and my best friend. He is my support and my encourager. Yet no matter how many "my" statements I stack up, one thing remains: Drew is first and foremost a child of God and a follower of Christ. He will always consider my opinion and my wants, but in the end he will answer to God.

(9) My Future- Well if it hasn't already become clear, I am a planner. I like to know what is coming. Yet more and more, I feel as though when it comes to the "big" questions of my own future, I increasingly cannot see the answers. It's not an easy place for me but it helps remind me, that my future belongs to the Lord. Not only is He my creator, but I willingly gave Him the lead in my life twenty years ago when I claimed Him as my Lord and Savior.