Ecuador: The Journey Begins

As I headed to the airport on the morning of June 4th, I was feeling unprepared. Don't get me wrong- my bags were packed. I had all the necessary items for a week in a foreign country (plus probably a fair number of "extras) as well as gifts I had put together for our sponsored girl and her family. I had attended the preparatory meetings that focused on language and guidance on entering a different culture. Outwardly I was ready, but when it came to my head and my heart, I just didn't feel like I had found or made the time to prepare the way I wished.

23 of our 25 member team ready to depart from Colorado Springs

Straight out of my journal: Stillness

"The last many weeks have been busy. It has been a good busy- babies to celebrate, weddings to attend, cakes to bake, end of school year events,  graduation parties, increased work with the missions ministry all while still striving to maintain a pleasant home and home life. Oh and how could I forget the preparation and beginning of the class for special needs children. I'm thankful for the friendships that have led to so many reasons for celebration, and I love the opportunity presented in my role with missions and the special needs class. Yes, the busy-ness has been good, yet so is the stillness.

For now I find myself on a plane headed for Miami and from there on to Ecuador with little to do now but rest and be still. And stillness is just what I need at this moment- a chance to "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) A chance to slow down, reflect on Him and seek Him out as I prepare for this next event....

Ecuador!

I am excited that I can go, grateful for Drew's encouragement and flexibility, and eager to meet Alejandra and learn about her and her community. I want to pour love and joy into her life and show her that, despite my failings, she is so frequently on my mind. I want to thank and encourage those who work with her at the center- those who are on the front line in reaching out to her and sharing God's love. Yet I cannot do that if I am empty or weary from all the wonderful busy-ness.

So I sit here in the stillness (if you ignore the turbulence) and the relative quiet and ask....

Lord, use me. Make me your hands and feet to go and share your love to a lost and struggling world. Take my mouth and fill it wholly with Your words and Your love. Make my thoughts and actions captive to Your will and guide me through this week.

Use me- for Your glory and Your kingdom."

I would have hours to focus on God and ask Him for His guidance throughout this trip as the journey to Ecuador was comprised of three separate flights, totalling approximately 3,600 miles in the air, and I intended to make the most of those miles. Honestly as is often the case, after praying over the whole situation and reading some from my Bible, I found myself feeling far more calm about the whole situation. I had found peace and rest in His presence- once again.

By the time we arrived in Guyuaquil, Ecuador, it was early Sunday morning. We would make it to our hotel for that "night" at 3am and I would find myself laying down by 4am. As tired as I was, I found it hard to sleep due to the excitement at being so close. 4 hours later, my alarm would go off so I could prepare for the remainder of our journey.

I found myself journaling again: Refreshing

"After only 4 hours of sleep, we are up again and preparing to head down for a meeting after which we'll head to the coast.

4 hours isn't much for a night's sleep. Both my roommate and myself decided to take a quick shower just to rinse off. My roommate came out saying it was worth it and I was left feeling refreshed. Thank you Lord for that.

Lord, may we not be the only ones refreshed. Give everyone an increase of rest within our group and prepare us so that we may refresh those who work and serve You here in Ecuador. They have been through so much lately due to the earthquakes and we know spiritual forces are at work here as well. May we bring Your refreshing to this region and Your servants here.

Isaiah 40-29-31 "He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary."

Before we boarded the bus to take us out to the coast of Ecuador in the town of La Libertad, we held a meeting where we met the in-country Compassion workers who would work with us and assist us with translations throughout the week. During the meeting, we also learned a bit more about Compassion's work in Ecuador and the region around La Libertad. During the meeting, one of our translators shared a story with us about a well-known pastor in the La Libertad region and how he got his start. In his early 20's, this pastor was taken out to the La Libertad region by his pastor and told they would be holding a church service. They went through town announcing and inviting people to a service that evening. They then went to clean up the space where they would meet. The door to the meeting room was locked and no one had a key. In the end, they would break the lock, so they could enter the building to sweep and later hold service. At that first service, only a handful of people attended, but that first step would eventually lead to a thriving church body that would help to plant numerous churches throughout the region.

Breaking Chains
"What a perfect image!

Without God, a place or a person is like an unkept, locked room with no key present. Love and Christ are the key. Joy can be found within.

We have been called to loosen the chains of injustice, set the oppressed free and break every yoke. Just as the pastor broke the lock on the door, so we can break down the chains that bind us and others through the power of Christ.

Isaiah 58:6-8 "Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free and break every yoke?“Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into the house; when you see the naked, to cover him; and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? “Then your light will break out like the dawn, and your recovery will speedily spring forth; and your righteousness will go before you; the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard."

From Guyuaquil we then travel by bus to the coastal town of La Libertad, where we would stay for the remainder of our trip. On the bus, I was feeling the effects of only 4 hours of sleep. In some ways, I wish I could say that by the grace of God, I experienced no headaches or migraines for the duration of the trip, but that wasn't to be. Less than 12 hours in country and I was struggling with a migraine. All I could do was pray that God would give me the energy and clarity of mind when it was needed so that my physical ailments wouldn't limit me during the trip. This will be the only time I mention my headaches because each and every day and with every headache, I can say the same thing: "God provides." I can remember dealing with headaches almost everyday that I was in Ecuador, but I have no memory of pain or impairment of thought (a common issue that I have with my headaches) while we were at the church or with the children. I may not have been free from headaches, but God brought me through each and every time as needed. God be praised!

Looking out at La Libertad- to the east

and to the southwest

And so the majority of our traveling was over. We had made it to La Libertad. We would have to drive on to the town where the Gozo de Dios Church and Compassion project were located, but we had been brought safely this far. With the traveling behind us, we could now look forward to the work and fun that lay ahead.

Ecuador: How did I get there?

As I began to think about sharing my Ecuador story, I realized I really must start at the very beginning- as Maria says in the Sound of Music, "a very good place to start. When we read we begin with ABC," when I think of what took me to Ecuador, I begin with a church service two and a half years ago.

Christmas time 2013- We had recently begun to regularly attend Academy Christian Church. This particular Sunday, the church was taking up a final offering to cover the costs of a church plant in coastal Ecuador through Stadia.

Fast forward several months to the summer of 2014. The church complex in Ecuador had been completed including facilities which would house a new Compassion International children's project for the local town and community. After registering all of the initial children for the project, Compassion brought their packets to our church so we could have the first opportunity to sponsor the children from the community where we had helped to plant a church. During service, someone spoke about this special event and explained the connection and sponsorship program. They then went on to say that we could go out and choose a child(ren) to sponsor, or if we didn't have a preference, we could raise our hand and individuals would be around to hand interested families a child's packet. As I began to think about how we might look for a young girl- possibly close in age to Naomi or with a birthday on or near one of our girls' birthdates, Naomi's hand shot into the air and someone handed her a packet for an 8 year old girl named Alejandra. After receiving the packet, she looked at me and asked, "We can, can't we?" I told her "yes," but briefly wondered if we should still look for someone closer to Naomi's age. However the thought was fleeting. Instead of trying to choose from a myriad of children, God used Naomi's actions to bring us the girl we would sponsor. I couldn't say no to Him or to her. And so through the compassion of Naomi and the providence of God, we began to sponsor and communicate with Alejandra.

The following spring (2015), our church family sent a team down to Ecuador for the first visit to this town and the Gozo de Dios Church to which we were so closely connected. The reports they brought back were incredible, but it seemed impossible that I could do something like that any time in the near future. After all when it came to schedules, I always needed to take into consideration the girls and they were far too young for a mission trip yet.

In December 2015, the church announced they were looking into a second mission trip to Ecuador and would be holding an informational meeting in January to see what kind of interest there was within the church body. I remember talking to Drew and telling him how much I would love to go, though I also quickly noted that I'd just have to wait for the girls to get older. Days later, a letter arrived in the mail from Alejandra. She had written it several months earlier and mentioned the visit from the church members earlier in the year. She stated that she had hoped we would be a part of that first team and wished that we might come down sometime soon. This letter pulled at my heart. There was nothing more I desired than to fulfill that wish and yet I just couldn't see how it was possible.

The informational meeting was held in January and as the day approached, Drew told me to go. He said he was certain we could work things out for the girls and it didn't hurt to find out more details on the trip- at the very least. By the time of the meeting, Drew had determined that he would submit a leave request for the duration of the trip so that he would be free to watch the girls while I was away. During the meeting, I was excited but continued to think about all the reasons "why not." The cost was not insignificant and was so much to spend on something I would do alone. Where would the funds come from? Would Drew actually be able to take leave? We typically plan family trips around dates that work for Drew's work schedule, but this would require that his schedule worked around my dates. That's just not something I generally expect due to the nature of the Army. Then there was the reality that we anticipated another military move sometime in 2016. We have rarely received more than 4 weeks notice when it comes to his PCS orders, and at the time, Drew was talking about the possibility of a change of command in April/May with a PCS shortly after.  This idea appealed to us as we figured it would make things easier for Naomi in regards to school. What if we ended up being scheduled for a move within days or weeks of the trip? How would I get the house prepped for the move if the dates fell too close together? What if Drew needed to report while I was gone? The questions were many (though some were far-fetched) and left me with doubts. Yet despite all of the hesitations and "obstacles" I raised, Drew continued to tell me all would work out. And so, I found myself registering for the trip and turning in my deposit.

So Naomi brought us Alejandra. Drew made it possible for me to go to visit her and above and through it all, God guided us and provided for each need and wish.

I was going to Ecuador!

 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Unwavering

This morning our daughters had the opportunity to wave palm branches during our morning church service. Their excitement was nearly tangible and definitely unmistakable. As I watched their joy, I couldn’t help but imagine what it was like in Jerusalem so many years ago when Jesus actually did enter the city to a crowd praising him in words and actions.

Yet just a few days later, we see the culmination of plotting and bribery and find Jesus before Pilate, left to go to the cross while another notorious criminal’s punishment is commuted. It is quite likely that some of those who waved branches and shouted “Hosanna” on Sunday were also crying for his death by Thursday. Oh the fickleness of man!

I love this week though because although the emotions swing wide- from joy and celebration on Sunday to plotting and anger on Thursday, despair on Friday and triumph the next Sunday- God’s love and faithfulness are unwavering.

No matter where my life has taken me or how this next week goes- when my emotions swing wide and I feel the lowest- even then God remains faithful. His love and mercy continue to reach out to me and offer me a hand up, a chance for victory. All I have to do is grab hold, let Him lead and never let go.

Property of God

Several weeks back, we were studying stewardship at church. One Sunday, we were each given a small stack of stick-it notes that had the phrase "property of God" printed on them and we were encouraged to use the notes to mark those items for which we need to loosen our grip and remember that they are not ours in the first place. I have been thinking about my list for the last many days and I have recognized that while I have some tangible items I could mark with a stick-it note, others would prove difficult. Since a stick-it note won't work for everything, I want to start here, with a list:


(1) Myself- I wish I could take credit for this observation, but another thought of it first. None the less, the truth of it still holds. All that I am, my very breath is God-given. Everything I accomplish and all the good I do has been accomplished by God's design or through His express leading. All that I am yet to do should be for His glory and not my own.

(2) My time- I like having a schedule because I like knowing what is coming up and being able to prepare for it. So for me, this is a BIG one. I may schedule my days but in the end, my time (what I do each hour and how many hours I remain on earth) are the Lord's. I can be quite task-oriented and results driven which causes me to hold tightly to my schedule. In those moments, people become interruptions to be quickly addressed. When I hold loosely to my plans knowing my time is ultimately the Lord's and all the results are His, people become the focus and purpose.

(3) My health- Generally I would say that I am in good health and frequently when I am ill, I can become frustrated by my inability to function in the way and to the level with which I am accustomed. Yet in those moments of weakness, I often find the strength of God, the grace and compassion of His people and see more clearly His priorities in the place of my own busyness. The Lord can and will use me for His purposes whether I am well or sick. It is my place to allow that to happen and seek Him whatever comes my way.

(4) Savings Account- I believe " The Lord gives and the Lord takes away," and so I believe that all of the money in all of our bank accounts is from the Lord. I also believe that "to whom much has been given, much shall  be required," and the way I see it- no matter what our income- we have been given so much financially. So all of our finances are the Lord's, and we will be held accountable for how we have used those funds. Ye while I know that money will come and go with our checking account, I have a much harder time when it comes to our savings. It can be so hard to spend money that we have placed in our savings account- even when it is for a worthwhile cause. The questions- the fears of "what if?" However it all goes back to how tightly I hold to my plans- in this case, plans for our savings. Will the funds in there be used solely according to our predetermined plan or will I remember that the funds are ultimately His?

(5) Our Children- Our girls are gifts from God, entrusted to our care. They may have lived inside my womb for many months and may have received 50% of their DNA from me, but they are not mine. They are God's design and His creation. It is not my job to make them into the people I want them to be but to help guide them so they can grow into the young ladies God has created them to be.

(6) The Bible- This one may seem obvious because we often refer to the Bible as God's word and in the process we are giving Him ownership. However it is all too easy to turn to the Scriptures to find- not God's word- but our answer. Armed with knowledge of what we want the Bible to prove or disprove, we can often find or make a verse/passage say what we want it to say. I see this often in Biblical arguments and each time they remind me that I also need to be careful in approaching the Bible, to hear- not what I want, but- what God would say.

(7) Our Vehicles- Our vehicles aren't anything terribly special, but they were and remain two of the largest investments we maintain. And if for no other reason, their cost/value makes them something I fret over. Each little scratch, ding, or rub, not to mention the perpetual cracked windshield we seem to acquire, makes me cringe and can cause me to tighten my grip. Really though, why did we purchase the vehicles? Was it to keep them pristine, shiny and looking brand new or did we intend to use them as a means to attend work, visit family and friends, and generally share in life. Our vehicles are a means- a tool- and in the end, ultimately they must be at the disposal of God. Though even now writing that statement makes me stress a bit. Looks like there is still lots of room to grow.

(8) Drew- Drew is my husband. He is my love, my partner and my best friend. He is my support and my encourager. Yet no matter how many "my" statements I stack up, one thing remains: Drew is first and foremost a child of God and a follower of Christ. He will always consider my opinion and my wants, but in the end he will answer to God.

(9) My Future- Well if it hasn't already become clear, I am a planner. I like to know what is coming. Yet more and more, I feel as though when it comes to the "big" questions of my own future, I increasingly cannot see the answers. It's not an easy place for me but it helps remind me, that my future belongs to the Lord. Not only is He my creator, but I willingly gave Him the lead in my life twenty years ago when I claimed Him as my Lord and Savior.

Proclaim!

Recently in church service, we sang a well known song by the Newsboys. I'd encourage you to take a moment to listen:

                          

Great words! But what really caught my attention was listening to the congregation. There is little that is more moving than listening as the voices of 250-300 people soar and swell while singing the chorus:

We believe in God the Father!

We believe in Jesus Christ!

We believe in the Holy Spirit!

And He's given us new life!

We believe in the crucifixion!

We believe that He conquered death!

We believe in the resurrection!

And He's comin' back again!

This was more than just singing along with the worship leader; it was a portion of the body of Christ proclaiming their faith and it was absolutely beautiful!

As I listened, I couldn't help but think about carrying this out into the world. It is wonderful to so exuberantly and bolding proclaim what we believe when in the comfort of a family of believers, but how well does it translate outside of the walls of our church building? Some I'm certain do well; I also am certain I could do so much more.

I've long struggled to put what I believe into words, getting overwhelmed with the details, but no more. Using this song, here is what I believe:

I believe in God the Father:

I believe in God the Father- faithful and true, holy and just, creator and judge, full of grace and truth. The One who was and is and is to come.

I believe in Jesus Christ:

I believe in Jesus Christ, His son, the Prince of Peace and Lord of Lords, the Word who was in the beginning and spoke the world into existence, the suffering servant and conquering king, the light of the world and hope of the nations. I believe Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth and the Life and that He is "the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross." (Colossians 1:15-20)


I believe in the Holy Spirit:
I believe in the Holy Spirit, a gift from God who helps with my weakness, convicts me of sin, righteousness and judgement, intercedes on my behalf and testifies that I am a child of God.


I believe that thanks to them, I have new life:
A new life not based on the desires and impulses of my natural, earthly self but one that is led by the Spirit, freeing me from the shame, condemnation and shackles of sin. A life of joy- based not on my circumstances but on the value God has placed on me.


I believe in the crucifixion:
I believe Jesus Christ, the only man to walk this earth without sin, chose to bear the infamy of my sin, the shame of the cross and the punishment for my wrongdoings that I might have the opportunity to approach the throne of grace. I believe He did all of this as a gift of love and grace, one freely offered to all but forced on none, a gift we each must choose to accept or deny.


I believe that He conquered death:
I believe that death, one of two things we jokingly say are the only certain things in life, could not hold Him because He is the creator and as such has authority and dominion over every aspect of His creation. I believe that with His triumph over the grave, Satan's illusion of power was destroyed and the war was won.


I believe in the resurrection:
I believe Jesus not only defeated death but He returned to walk on this earth, meeting with several hundreds of people and when that time came to an end, He was taken up into the heavens to sit at the right hand of the throne of God.


I believe that He's coming back again!
I believe that He will return one more time but this time He will come with trumpet blasts and all WILL know He is Lord and King. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess. He will call the faithful to Himself and take them to paradise.

So how does what I believe- all of the above-express itself in my life? Can it only be heard in my words? If so, what needs to change so it is seen in my actions and proclaimed through my life?

How does what I believe affect my time/schedule, my finances, my priorities, my relationships?

How do I treat my family members, my friends, my co-workers, the people I meet for a moment?
How does what I believe change how I treat those who have hurt and belittled me?

Is what I believe expressed in my thoughts, my attitudes, and mt response to our society & culture?

I know I have a long way to go but these are the areas where I want my life to proclaim the words of the chorus above, and as I work on myself, I will stand to say:

 I believe!

Control

I feel it Lord. I don't know exactly why it is rearing its ugly head now but it is none the less and it is doing so with a vengeance. Something seems to be spinning far beyond my control and it leaves me desperate to control every other area in my life that I think I can reach. 

The worst part is that this doesn't just affect me. My desperation and consuming control-grab leaves our girls and Drew in my wake all too often. A harsh word, a remark rashly spoken and belatedly regretted, heightened frustrations and impossible expectations. Requirements hard to keep myself as a full grown, competent and able woman laid at the feet of young children. Lines in the sand I push to make them follow instead of leading with a gentle word and encouraging hand.

Perfectionism and control leave so little room for grace, compassion, mercy and patience. Worst yet, perfectionism and control only considers my pride and arrogance and runs rough-shod over Your right and authority, Your honor and love. Too much of me and too little- far too little- of You. 

Help me Lord. Help me to begin by taking control of my actions, my words, my thoughts. May I hold them captive to You, Lord and may all that I do eminate from thoughts that coincide with this: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8) I know I cannot do it alone but I also know that You have not left me alone. May I take hold of that- not just as knowledge but at the very core of my being. May it invade my way of thinking and ever raise my eyes above my own wants and needs to see You and Your kingdom.

Thank you for accepting me in my broken state, for loving me in spite of my stong-headed, independent self, and thank you for not leaving me there but offering to transform me if I will but stay in Your presence.

My Little Bug-A-Boo

Darling Noelle,

Earlier this month you turned three years old and what an incredible and wonderful three years it has been. I have particularly loved this last year as your personality has truly begun to shine and I love getting to know the unique, beautiful little person you are. Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet little one.

As I think on you, little Noelle, I cannot help but smile as I recall your sweet, joyful spirit. You are so often like a little ray of sunshine. In fact I have found myself often saying that you wake up with "rainbows and sunshine" because that is exactly the kind of atmosphere you create with your sweet smile and bubbly spirit. It is hard to be gloomy or upset when you are nearby. Lord, Thank you for Noelle's beautiful spirit. I pray that this infectious joy and pure delight will not be squelched by the passing of time or the ways of this world. I pray that Noelle's spirit might remain a source of brightness in the lives of those around her.

These last few months have proven just what a little comedian you are. Your Daddy and I have known for some time that you loved to make others laugh and would repeat something time and again if it brought a smile to another's face. Yet in the last few weeks, your sense of humor and love of laughter has only increased and found new avenues of expression. I love your voices; they never fail to make me laugh. Lord, as before, I would ask that you protect this part of Noelle. Too often this world can weigh us down- whether through hardship or repetition- but Noelle's love of laughter is a beautiful counter to all of that. I pray that she would learn when the time is appropriate and could use this as a gift to others.

Unfortunately we have also been made aware of what appears to be a great fear in your life- being left alone. You have always been a bit more concerned when we left you in a new place, but that fear appeared to quickly disappear. Yet lately, even in our home, you will become quite nervous and upset if you think we are leaving you or if you cannot find us (ie. waking in the middle of the night). At these times, you always voice your fear, "Don't leave me,"; "I thought you'd left me." Daddy and I may have to leave you for a time and sometimes- particularly at your age now- that time can seem like forever, but we would never willingly leave you indefinitely. Lord, it is hard to hear Noelle continually voice a fear that we will leave her, yet for her, it is a true concern. We thank you Lord for the assurance that no matter what may happen in this world, she (and us as well) will never be alone. We pray Lord that as she grows older, she will come to understand this and rely upon this when the days seem dark and her path appears lonely. Never will You forsake her; never will You leave her.

Thank you for our little Bug-A-Boo- for her beautiful, infectious spirit and the joy she has brought to our lives. Thank you for sharing her with us and granting us the responsibility and honor of guiding her through these years. May our example and our words continually point her to You and may the works of our hands help her become the young lady You have made her to be.

Noelle, I can think of no greater gift to give you, for your third birthday or any to come, than to pray for you. The Lord entrusted you to our care but in the end, you are still His child- first and foremost. I pray that you will never forget that and will always desire to better know your Creator and Heavenly Father. And we pray that you will always know that your Mommy loves you. Your Daddy loves you.But above all, God loves you!

All the love I have,

Mommy