I feel it Lord. I don't know exactly why it is rearing its ugly head now but it is none the less and it is doing so with a vengeance. Something seems to be spinning far beyond my control and it leaves me desperate to control every other area in my life that I think I can reach.
The worst part is that this doesn't just affect me. My desperation and consuming control-grab leaves our girls and Drew in my wake all too often. A harsh word, a remark rashly spoken and belatedly regretted, heightened frustrations and impossible expectations. Requirements hard to keep myself as a full grown, competent and able woman laid at the feet of young children. Lines in the sand I push to make them follow instead of leading with a gentle word and encouraging hand.
Perfectionism and control leave so little room for grace, compassion, mercy and patience. Worst yet, perfectionism and control only considers my pride and arrogance and runs rough-shod over Your right and authority, Your honor and love. Too much of me and too little- far too little- of You.
Help me Lord. Help me to begin by taking control of my actions, my words, my thoughts. May I hold them captive to You, Lord and may all that I do eminate from thoughts that coincide with this: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8) I know I cannot do it alone but I also know that You have not left me alone. May I take hold of that- not just as knowledge but at the very core of my being. May it invade my way of thinking and ever raise my eyes above my own wants and needs to see You and Your kingdom.
Thank you for accepting me in my broken state, for loving me in spite of my stong-headed, independent self, and thank you for not leaving me there but offering to transform me if I will but stay in Your presence.
Thursday, August 20, 2015
My Little Bug-A-Boo
Darling Noelle,
Earlier this month you turned three years old and what an incredible and wonderful three years it has been. I have particularly loved this last year as your personality has truly begun to shine and I love getting to know the unique, beautiful little person you are. Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet little one.
As I think on you, little Noelle, I cannot help but smile as I recall your sweet, joyful spirit. You are so often like a little ray of sunshine. In fact I have found myself often saying that you wake up with "rainbows and sunshine" because that is exactly the kind of atmosphere you create with your sweet smile and bubbly spirit. It is hard to be gloomy or upset when you are nearby. Lord, Thank you for Noelle's beautiful spirit. I pray that this infectious joy and pure delight will not be squelched by the passing of time or the ways of this world. I pray that Noelle's spirit might remain a source of brightness in the lives of those around her.
These last few months have proven just what a little comedian you are. Your Daddy and I have known for some time that you loved to make others laugh and would repeat something time and again if it brought a smile to another's face. Yet in the last few weeks, your sense of humor and love of laughter has only increased and found new avenues of expression. I love your voices; they never fail to make me laugh. Lord, as before, I would ask that you protect this part of Noelle. Too often this world can weigh us down- whether through hardship or repetition- but Noelle's love of laughter is a beautiful counter to all of that. I pray that she would learn when the time is appropriate and could use this as a gift to others.
Unfortunately we have also been made aware of what appears to be a great fear in your life- being left alone. You have always been a bit more concerned when we left you in a new place, but that fear appeared to quickly disappear. Yet lately, even in our home, you will become quite nervous and upset if you think we are leaving you or if you cannot find us (ie. waking in the middle of the night). At these times, you always voice your fear, "Don't leave me,"; "I thought you'd left me." Daddy and I may have to leave you for a time and sometimes- particularly at your age now- that time can seem like forever, but we would never willingly leave you indefinitely. Lord, it is hard to hear Noelle continually voice a fear that we will leave her, yet for her, it is a true concern. We thank you Lord for the assurance that no matter what may happen in this world, she (and us as well) will never be alone. We pray Lord that as she grows older, she will come to understand this and rely upon this when the days seem dark and her path appears lonely. Never will You forsake her; never will You leave her.
Thank you for our little Bug-A-Boo- for her beautiful, infectious spirit and the joy she has brought to our lives. Thank you for sharing her with us and granting us the responsibility and honor of guiding her through these years. May our example and our words continually point her to You and may the works of our hands help her become the young lady You have made her to be.
Noelle, I can think of no greater gift to give you, for your third birthday or any to come, than to pray for you. The Lord entrusted you to our care but in the end, you are still His child- first and foremost. I pray that you will never forget that and will always desire to better know your Creator and Heavenly Father. And we pray that you will always know that your Mommy loves you. Your Daddy loves you.But above all, God loves you!
All the love I have,
Mommy
Earlier this month you turned three years old and what an incredible and wonderful three years it has been. I have particularly loved this last year as your personality has truly begun to shine and I love getting to know the unique, beautiful little person you are. Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet little one.
As I think on you, little Noelle, I cannot help but smile as I recall your sweet, joyful spirit. You are so often like a little ray of sunshine. In fact I have found myself often saying that you wake up with "rainbows and sunshine" because that is exactly the kind of atmosphere you create with your sweet smile and bubbly spirit. It is hard to be gloomy or upset when you are nearby. Lord, Thank you for Noelle's beautiful spirit. I pray that this infectious joy and pure delight will not be squelched by the passing of time or the ways of this world. I pray that Noelle's spirit might remain a source of brightness in the lives of those around her.
These last few months have proven just what a little comedian you are. Your Daddy and I have known for some time that you loved to make others laugh and would repeat something time and again if it brought a smile to another's face. Yet in the last few weeks, your sense of humor and love of laughter has only increased and found new avenues of expression. I love your voices; they never fail to make me laugh. Lord, as before, I would ask that you protect this part of Noelle. Too often this world can weigh us down- whether through hardship or repetition- but Noelle's love of laughter is a beautiful counter to all of that. I pray that she would learn when the time is appropriate and could use this as a gift to others.
Unfortunately we have also been made aware of what appears to be a great fear in your life- being left alone. You have always been a bit more concerned when we left you in a new place, but that fear appeared to quickly disappear. Yet lately, even in our home, you will become quite nervous and upset if you think we are leaving you or if you cannot find us (ie. waking in the middle of the night). At these times, you always voice your fear, "Don't leave me,"; "I thought you'd left me." Daddy and I may have to leave you for a time and sometimes- particularly at your age now- that time can seem like forever, but we would never willingly leave you indefinitely. Lord, it is hard to hear Noelle continually voice a fear that we will leave her, yet for her, it is a true concern. We thank you Lord for the assurance that no matter what may happen in this world, she (and us as well) will never be alone. We pray Lord that as she grows older, she will come to understand this and rely upon this when the days seem dark and her path appears lonely. Never will You forsake her; never will You leave her.
Thank you for our little Bug-A-Boo- for her beautiful, infectious spirit and the joy she has brought to our lives. Thank you for sharing her with us and granting us the responsibility and honor of guiding her through these years. May our example and our words continually point her to You and may the works of our hands help her become the young lady You have made her to be.
Noelle, I can think of no greater gift to give you, for your third birthday or any to come, than to pray for you. The Lord entrusted you to our care but in the end, you are still His child- first and foremost. I pray that you will never forget that and will always desire to better know your Creator and Heavenly Father. And we pray that you will always know that your Mommy loves you. Your Daddy loves you.But above all, God loves you!
All the love I have,
Mommy
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Perspective
June 3, 2015
Talks with Naomi- This Sunday Naomi started new curriculum in her Sunday School class- looking at the big story of the Bible and how every smaller story ties into God's big story. As we were talking about what she learned in class, we talked about a couple of the smaller stories, which led us to decide to begin to read through one of their Bible storybooks at nap and bedtimes. Both girls have enjoyed the stories, and Naomi's interest and ability to discuss the details of the story and the lessons we can learn from the stories has vastly improved since we last did this. I have so enjoyed the discussions, her interest and questions. I love watching as her thirst for more understanding and knowledge of the Bible and its meanings grow. Beyond that, I am ever so grateful for the children's team (staff and volunteers) at our church who have helped to encourage and inspire this learning all the more.
“You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up." Deuteronomy 11:18-19
June 4, 2015
Lord,
I have struggled with putting a prayer down "on paper" this day. Not because I cannot think of anything to talk with You about, but because my brain just does not want to cooperate. Daily storm fronts often means daily migraines for me and I just haven't been functioning well today because of one. My words are not coming together, but that is the great thing about talking with You. You know my thoughts before I do and even when I cannot put the words together in a cohesive or intelligent stream of thought, You still understand. You are not looking for eloquence and perfect delivery; honesty and regular communication are far more important.
Thank you Lord for listening to me even when it seems like I am only getting out half of a thought. Thank you for knowing my thoughts, concerns, fears, and joys, yet still wanting to hear from me.
"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26-27
June 5, 2015
Fewer Headaches- For years and years, I didn't know and couldn't even imagine going through a day without a severe headache or migraine. Severe pain in my head was a constant and became my norm. It wasn't fun; it wasn't pleasant and it definitely affected my relationships, activities, functionality and productivity.
Moving to Colorado changed that for me. For the first time in well over a decade, I went days, even weeks without a migraine. Headaches and migraines, while still a regular part of my life, no longer held such sway on my days. Then this May happened. May was a wet month. Colorado Springs set an all time record high for precipitation in the month of May- at nearly four times the average monthly rainfall, but more significantly for me is not how much rain fell, but how often we had rainy days. This May, we had storm clouds and often some amount of rain almost every single day and with the constant fluctuation that comes with storm fronts, my migraines returned with a vengeance.
With the entrance of June, we saw some respite from the storms and I noticed that I had this sudden amount of energy. I felt so productive each day. I was doing special things with the girls (gardening, swimming ect), making good meals, running errands and had almost the entire house cleaned from top to bottom- all in a matter of just a few days. I was loving it.
The last few days though, the storms have returned and with them, my migraines. I was frustrated by the sudden limitations I felt, but today as I found myself doing little besides keeping the girls alive and making certain we all ate something thanks to a migraine which plagued me, I realized that I am feeling that frustration because migraines are no longer my norm, and that is one incredible praise!
"Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7
June 6, 2015
Lord,
I do not like feeling limited or restricted by physical ailments, circumstances or anything else. The struggle with migraines has frustrated me over the years but they have been an amazing "teacher" as well.
Migraines have led to many doubts about my abilities as a wife and mother, a feeling of neediness and extreme dependence on others, and an inability to continue in aeas of service I have enjoyed over the years. Yet migraines have also led to discoveries of new areas of service, the ability to say "no", freedom from concerns on what others might think, moments of rest and silence, and a deep and abiding reliance on You.
Thank you for the migraines. I never thought I would say that, but I know that they slowed me down, highlighted my inability and need, and guided me to Your loving arms and competent hands. Thank you for Your constancy and faithfulness and the comfort found in knowing the Great Physician. May I never take for granted the "good days," the days without pain and on those days, may I never forget the lessons I have and continue to learn in my weakness.
"But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Talks with Naomi- This Sunday Naomi started new curriculum in her Sunday School class- looking at the big story of the Bible and how every smaller story ties into God's big story. As we were talking about what she learned in class, we talked about a couple of the smaller stories, which led us to decide to begin to read through one of their Bible storybooks at nap and bedtimes. Both girls have enjoyed the stories, and Naomi's interest and ability to discuss the details of the story and the lessons we can learn from the stories has vastly improved since we last did this. I have so enjoyed the discussions, her interest and questions. I love watching as her thirst for more understanding and knowledge of the Bible and its meanings grow. Beyond that, I am ever so grateful for the children's team (staff and volunteers) at our church who have helped to encourage and inspire this learning all the more.
“You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up." Deuteronomy 11:18-19
June 4, 2015
Lord,
I have struggled with putting a prayer down "on paper" this day. Not because I cannot think of anything to talk with You about, but because my brain just does not want to cooperate. Daily storm fronts often means daily migraines for me and I just haven't been functioning well today because of one. My words are not coming together, but that is the great thing about talking with You. You know my thoughts before I do and even when I cannot put the words together in a cohesive or intelligent stream of thought, You still understand. You are not looking for eloquence and perfect delivery; honesty and regular communication are far more important.
Thank you Lord for listening to me even when it seems like I am only getting out half of a thought. Thank you for knowing my thoughts, concerns, fears, and joys, yet still wanting to hear from me.
"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26-27
June 5, 2015
Fewer Headaches- For years and years, I didn't know and couldn't even imagine going through a day without a severe headache or migraine. Severe pain in my head was a constant and became my norm. It wasn't fun; it wasn't pleasant and it definitely affected my relationships, activities, functionality and productivity.
Moving to Colorado changed that for me. For the first time in well over a decade, I went days, even weeks without a migraine. Headaches and migraines, while still a regular part of my life, no longer held such sway on my days. Then this May happened. May was a wet month. Colorado Springs set an all time record high for precipitation in the month of May- at nearly four times the average monthly rainfall, but more significantly for me is not how much rain fell, but how often we had rainy days. This May, we had storm clouds and often some amount of rain almost every single day and with the constant fluctuation that comes with storm fronts, my migraines returned with a vengeance.
With the entrance of June, we saw some respite from the storms and I noticed that I had this sudden amount of energy. I felt so productive each day. I was doing special things with the girls (gardening, swimming ect), making good meals, running errands and had almost the entire house cleaned from top to bottom- all in a matter of just a few days. I was loving it.
The last few days though, the storms have returned and with them, my migraines. I was frustrated by the sudden limitations I felt, but today as I found myself doing little besides keeping the girls alive and making certain we all ate something thanks to a migraine which plagued me, I realized that I am feeling that frustration because migraines are no longer my norm, and that is one incredible praise!
"Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7
June 6, 2015
Lord,
I do not like feeling limited or restricted by physical ailments, circumstances or anything else. The struggle with migraines has frustrated me over the years but they have been an amazing "teacher" as well.
Migraines have led to many doubts about my abilities as a wife and mother, a feeling of neediness and extreme dependence on others, and an inability to continue in aeas of service I have enjoyed over the years. Yet migraines have also led to discoveries of new areas of service, the ability to say "no", freedom from concerns on what others might think, moments of rest and silence, and a deep and abiding reliance on You.
Thank you for the migraines. I never thought I would say that, but I know that they slowed me down, highlighted my inability and need, and guided me to Your loving arms and competent hands. Thank you for Your constancy and faithfulness and the comfort found in knowing the Great Physician. May I never take for granted the "good days," the days without pain and on those days, may I never forget the lessons I have and continue to learn in my weakness.
"But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Our Sweet Heart
June 1, 2015
Compassion- Over the last year, Naomi has had a couple of major struggles- consideration of and sharing with her little sister and a troubling- sometimes mean spirited- attitude. The strength and persistence of these issues has caused me many moments of worry and stress, but through all of those times, there is one attribute of Naomi that always reminds me of what I know is buried deep in her heart. Naomi's compassion for those who are in need is undeniable. When she hears of an opportunity for her or our family to help someone in need- people on street corners, kids in other countries, young families and babies in our community- her first thought is- "Let's help." So often she says what my heart is telling me but my mind is debating and she reminds me to think less and trust God more. Naomi is a sensitive, tender-hearted little girl who wants to help others- period, and it would take something earth-shattering to take that from her.
"'For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you took care of Me; I was in prison and you visited Me.’
Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or without clothes and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and visit You?’
And the King will answer them, ‘I assure you: Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’" Matthew 25:35-40
June 2, 2015
Lord,
Having just written about Naomi, it seems only natural to spend some time in prayer for her as well. The more I get to know her, the more I love her. The more I know and love her, the more amazed I am that You would entrust her to someone like me. She is a precious child. Those moments when I get to glimpse her innermost heart, I am in awe of Your design and eager to see who she will become and how she will use it. She is also a challenging child. Most of the attributes that make her challenging now are things that in time and under control can become some of her greatest assets. Guiding her towards that point IS the challenge.
Deep down though, I know that it all comes down to her heart. A heart which I believe has so much good and kindness in it but which can often be overridden by compulsion and instinct. And so Lord, above all, I want to pray for Naomi's heart. There are so many things that this world can do to taint and misguide her heart. I pray that her heart will withstand all of the barbs thrown at it by Satan and will lead her towards You. Thus when things get rough and she cannot feel Your protection, she will know You are still there because You are true and You are good.
In the days ahead Lord, I pray that Naomi will not be swayed by the approval of man (or friends) but would above all seek to honor and please You. I pray that her steps and words would be Your truth salted with Your love. I pray that she would maintain her self-assurance temepered with humility and that in everything, her compassion would continue to keep her actively helping those in need. Help us to see how and where we can encourage and support her along this path as she becomes the young lady You created her to be and may love for You be the motivating force in the actions of each and every one of us.
Thank you Lord for being our heavenly Father, providing us with the perfect example of a loving parent.
"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4
Compassion- Over the last year, Naomi has had a couple of major struggles- consideration of and sharing with her little sister and a troubling- sometimes mean spirited- attitude. The strength and persistence of these issues has caused me many moments of worry and stress, but through all of those times, there is one attribute of Naomi that always reminds me of what I know is buried deep in her heart. Naomi's compassion for those who are in need is undeniable. When she hears of an opportunity for her or our family to help someone in need- people on street corners, kids in other countries, young families and babies in our community- her first thought is- "Let's help." So often she says what my heart is telling me but my mind is debating and she reminds me to think less and trust God more. Naomi is a sensitive, tender-hearted little girl who wants to help others- period, and it would take something earth-shattering to take that from her.
"'For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you took care of Me; I was in prison and you visited Me.’
Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or without clothes and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and visit You?’
And the King will answer them, ‘I assure you: Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’" Matthew 25:35-40
June 2, 2015
Lord,
Having just written about Naomi, it seems only natural to spend some time in prayer for her as well. The more I get to know her, the more I love her. The more I know and love her, the more amazed I am that You would entrust her to someone like me. She is a precious child. Those moments when I get to glimpse her innermost heart, I am in awe of Your design and eager to see who she will become and how she will use it. She is also a challenging child. Most of the attributes that make her challenging now are things that in time and under control can become some of her greatest assets. Guiding her towards that point IS the challenge.
Deep down though, I know that it all comes down to her heart. A heart which I believe has so much good and kindness in it but which can often be overridden by compulsion and instinct. And so Lord, above all, I want to pray for Naomi's heart. There are so many things that this world can do to taint and misguide her heart. I pray that her heart will withstand all of the barbs thrown at it by Satan and will lead her towards You. Thus when things get rough and she cannot feel Your protection, she will know You are still there because You are true and You are good.
In the days ahead Lord, I pray that Naomi will not be swayed by the approval of man (or friends) but would above all seek to honor and please You. I pray that her steps and words would be Your truth salted with Your love. I pray that she would maintain her self-assurance temepered with humility and that in everything, her compassion would continue to keep her actively helping those in need. Help us to see how and where we can encourage and support her along this path as she becomes the young lady You created her to be and may love for You be the motivating force in the actions of each and every one of us.
Thank you Lord for being our heavenly Father, providing us with the perfect example of a loving parent.
"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Prayer and Praise
One year ago, Drew left for Afghanistan. Nearly six months ago, he returned home. We have thoroughly enjoyed our time as a family since then. But as is often the case, time and routine have worn down the shine of reunion and I have allowed the same to inundate me with busyness and tasks. In the process, I have allowed more important parts of my life to slack and it is time that I amend that. So I am going to do my best to get back to basics, to those things which I have found have had the most profound impact on my thoughts, attitude and actions- prayer and praise! It is not necessarily the acts themselves that impact me the most but the reminder of the bigger picture. For when I am on my knees before the Almighty or am praising and thanking God for His providence and all the good He has made and done, little irritations, minor inconveniences, personal insults, failings and pride fall to the wayside.
May 30, 2015
Our Neighbors- They have been so wonderful in so many ways and today was another reminder of that. As I struggled to try to get our push mower to start so I could mow the front yard (something that usually is achieved easily), the neighbor's son came out to mow their yard. He saw me struggle and just as I decided to take a break on that and focus on the back yard, he offered to mow our yard at the same time as theirs. If that wasn't enough- as I pushed our mower back towards our storage shed, he asked if I would like him to mow our back yard as well. This may not seem like a huge offer, but our back yard is not your typical mid-town yard. We live on nearly half an acre of land and it takes me a solid two hours to mow the back yard on a riding mower- not including edging ect. I ended up mowing the back yard myself as I had the means and do enjoy mowing, but the offer was so generous and so greatly appreciated.
"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:17
May 31, 2015
Lord,
I have a friend who is hurting this night. You know who and You know why. You also can be present and comfort them in a way that I cannot. Please do so. I cannot imagine their pain right now, their sense of loss but You can and do. This I know and this I trust. I know You are with them now and I pray that they will feel Your presence and are able to rely on Your strength and comfort in the days ahead. Guide my friend, Lord and lead them to quiet waters.
Thank you Lord for the assurance that we, as believers, have in Your presence, Your providence and Your eternal plan when the direction our finite lives take seems to have been turned on its head. Thank you for experiencing this life and being personally and intimately aware what it feels like to lose a loved one, face betrayal, experience temptation, laugh and cry. Thank you for not only creating and setting this world in motion but choosing to be involved and concerned with our individual needs and our eternity.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
May 30, 2015
Our Neighbors- They have been so wonderful in so many ways and today was another reminder of that. As I struggled to try to get our push mower to start so I could mow the front yard (something that usually is achieved easily), the neighbor's son came out to mow their yard. He saw me struggle and just as I decided to take a break on that and focus on the back yard, he offered to mow our yard at the same time as theirs. If that wasn't enough- as I pushed our mower back towards our storage shed, he asked if I would like him to mow our back yard as well. This may not seem like a huge offer, but our back yard is not your typical mid-town yard. We live on nearly half an acre of land and it takes me a solid two hours to mow the back yard on a riding mower- not including edging ect. I ended up mowing the back yard myself as I had the means and do enjoy mowing, but the offer was so generous and so greatly appreciated.
"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:17
May 31, 2015
Lord,
I have a friend who is hurting this night. You know who and You know why. You also can be present and comfort them in a way that I cannot. Please do so. I cannot imagine their pain right now, their sense of loss but You can and do. This I know and this I trust. I know You are with them now and I pray that they will feel Your presence and are able to rely on Your strength and comfort in the days ahead. Guide my friend, Lord and lead them to quiet waters.
Thank you Lord for the assurance that we, as believers, have in Your presence, Your providence and Your eternal plan when the direction our finite lives take seems to have been turned on its head. Thank you for experiencing this life and being personally and intimately aware what it feels like to lose a loved one, face betrayal, experience temptation, laugh and cry. Thank you for not only creating and setting this world in motion but choosing to be involved and concerned with our individual needs and our eternity.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
Saturday, April 4, 2015
In the Silence of Saturday
Saturday..... the day between Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. What happened in the silence of this day?
We know that Jesus was taken down from the cross and placed in a borrowed tomb before sunset. We know that a guard was placed outside that same tomb. And we know that when the women arrived on Sunday morning, Jesus was no longer in the tomb.
However what happened with Jesus in the time between the guards and the women is less known. I've read various opinions and scholarly discussions concerning this time. And while the conclusions don't always match up, one thing remains constant: Jesus Christ was dead. Both the Apostles and Christ Himself testify to this within Scripture.
"This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him." Acts 2:23-24
"When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades." Revelation 1:17-18
I may not know, and I have a hard time even trying to imagine, where Christ was or what Christ was doing on this day, but I can imagine what Satan may have been doing. Satan- a being known for his pride which led to his fall and for his lies. How would Satan view this day? Could he see that there was more to come or was he blinded by his own arrogance and audacity? Did he recognize that this was the fulfillment of Genesis 3:15 "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”? Did he know that this action, which seemed so final and so destructive, was nothing more than a wound on Christ's heel? I can't answer those questions, but because of his pride, I still always imagine the same response from him when I consider this day.
Have you ever seen a rooster in the barnyard, all puffed out, crowing and strutting around? That is how I imagine Satan on this Saturday. On the day when Jesus' disciples locked themselves away in a room, preparing for Jesus' final burial treatment, I envision Satan strutting around in all his pride and audacity proclaiming his victory. The son of God was dead. Whether he thought he had achieved the ultimate victory or if he was already aware that God was working in the background, I don't know. Still I imagine he was thrilled with the current state of things. Big or small, this was his victory.
But was it?
God may have seemed silent when viewed through our mortal eyes, but God was not dead and His plan was not thwarted. Because Jesus didn't stand before Pilate, die on a cross or lay in a tomb because of any machinations of Satan. No, Jesus did everything because of the will and plan of God. And this "silence", this waiting was part of that plan as well.
So though it seemed as if God was silent and all was grim, never forget that Sunday is still coming.
We know that Jesus was taken down from the cross and placed in a borrowed tomb before sunset. We know that a guard was placed outside that same tomb. And we know that when the women arrived on Sunday morning, Jesus was no longer in the tomb.
However what happened with Jesus in the time between the guards and the women is less known. I've read various opinions and scholarly discussions concerning this time. And while the conclusions don't always match up, one thing remains constant: Jesus Christ was dead. Both the Apostles and Christ Himself testify to this within Scripture.
"This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him." Acts 2:23-24
"When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades." Revelation 1:17-18
I may not know, and I have a hard time even trying to imagine, where Christ was or what Christ was doing on this day, but I can imagine what Satan may have been doing. Satan- a being known for his pride which led to his fall and for his lies. How would Satan view this day? Could he see that there was more to come or was he blinded by his own arrogance and audacity? Did he recognize that this was the fulfillment of Genesis 3:15 "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”? Did he know that this action, which seemed so final and so destructive, was nothing more than a wound on Christ's heel? I can't answer those questions, but because of his pride, I still always imagine the same response from him when I consider this day.
Have you ever seen a rooster in the barnyard, all puffed out, crowing and strutting around? That is how I imagine Satan on this Saturday. On the day when Jesus' disciples locked themselves away in a room, preparing for Jesus' final burial treatment, I envision Satan strutting around in all his pride and audacity proclaiming his victory. The son of God was dead. Whether he thought he had achieved the ultimate victory or if he was already aware that God was working in the background, I don't know. Still I imagine he was thrilled with the current state of things. Big or small, this was his victory.
But was it?
God may have seemed silent when viewed through our mortal eyes, but God was not dead and His plan was not thwarted. Because Jesus didn't stand before Pilate, die on a cross or lay in a tomb because of any machinations of Satan. No, Jesus did everything because of the will and plan of God. And this "silence", this waiting was part of that plan as well.
So though it seemed as if God was silent and all was grim, never forget that Sunday is still coming.
Friday, April 3, 2015
Good Friday?
Sometimes I struggle with the term Good Friday. I understand that the response of God which we celebrate on this day is good- beyond good, but I cannot think about the events of Good Friday without thinking about the original why. I cannot think about the events of Good Friday without recognizing and mourning my own complicity in it all.
I just read a post where someone referred to today as a Black Friday and sometimes that is more how I view this day. So maybe sometimes Good Friday feels a bit like Black Friday and I'm okay with that. I'm forgiven and I know I no longer must bear the guilt for my poor choices and sins, yet I never want to forget my role on this day.
-Jesus was betrayed by His creation and His people in order to open the way between us and God.
"He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. ... By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished." Isaiah 53:3,8
-Jesus bore the crown of thorns and stripes on His back so I wouldn't need to.
"Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted." Isaiah 53:4
-Jesus went to the cross to make restitution for my sins.
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." Isaiah 53:5-6
A Black Friday because everything that happened should have been mine to bear.
Yet the only Black Friday where we all can get exactly what we need and everything we could ever want at the greatest price ever- FREE. Jesus faced it all for me. Jesus faced it all for you. Whether you or I acknowledge who He is and what He has done, He still did this for each of us. That's grace. That's love. That's what makes a Black Friday Good Friday as well.
And we cannot forget whether you find yourself mourning your role or glorying in God's forgiveness and grace, either way- we know that Sunday is coming and there is no question regarding the victory of that day!
I just read a post where someone referred to today as a Black Friday and sometimes that is more how I view this day. So maybe sometimes Good Friday feels a bit like Black Friday and I'm okay with that. I'm forgiven and I know I no longer must bear the guilt for my poor choices and sins, yet I never want to forget my role on this day.
-Jesus was betrayed by His creation and His people in order to open the way between us and God.
"He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. ... By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished." Isaiah 53:3,8
-Jesus bore the crown of thorns and stripes on His back so I wouldn't need to.
"Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted." Isaiah 53:4
-Jesus went to the cross to make restitution for my sins.
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." Isaiah 53:5-6
A Black Friday because everything that happened should have been mine to bear.
Yet the only Black Friday where we all can get exactly what we need and everything we could ever want at the greatest price ever- FREE. Jesus faced it all for me. Jesus faced it all for you. Whether you or I acknowledge who He is and what He has done, He still did this for each of us. That's grace. That's love. That's what makes a Black Friday Good Friday as well.
And we cannot forget whether you find yourself mourning your role or glorying in God's forgiveness and grace, either way- we know that Sunday is coming and there is no question regarding the victory of that day!
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